I just wanted to thank you all for your kind words of encouragement… I truly appreciate it. It’s been an interesting couple of days. But honestly, it’s okay, I’m okay, and it’s all going to be oooooookay.
I was pretty shocked, so much so that I didn’t really have the energy to cry or get upset. I have felt tears well up in my eyes many times but none actually fell until I got this email from my mom on Wednesday morning:
God doesn’t give you the people you want, He gives you the people you NEED- To help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be. Dear God: The woman reading this is beautiful, classy and strong, and I love her. Help her live her life to the fullest. Please promote her and cause her to excel above her expectations. Help her shine in the darkest places where it is impossible to love. Protect her at all times, lift her up when she needs you the most, and let her know when she walks with you, she will always be safe.
Then the email went on in true forward fashion and told me to pass the email on to 9 of my ‘best girls.’ I hate email forwards but for some reason it seemed really appropriate. Instead of clogging people’s inboxes I decided to share it with all of you. Cheesy, I know… but sometimes we need to know that someone is thinking of us and only wants the best for us. Hope you don’t hate me for it.
I spent most of yesterday getting my life in order. I filed with the Unemployment office, had my student loans brought down to the minimum payment (b/c I was being responsible and paying double before,) I cancelled some subscriptions that I will no longer need. I broke my apartment lease, and will be moving things home to my parents house outside Nashville. I am very thankful that they are able to offer me a place to stay, that’s my saving grace at the moment. The most unfortunate part about all this is that I will have to leave E here in Knoxville. I know that the distance won’t negatively effect our relationship- I truly know that we are rock-solid and committed to each other, but we’ve never spent alot of time apart. I’m not worried, I’m just sad that I won’t get to see him every day.
This morning I had coffee with my pastor, who is a dear dear friend of mine and talking with her made me feel alot of peace. I know it’s going to be okay. I have lots of friends and family who love me and who are looking out for me. Keeping their eyes and ears open for possible job opportunities. And luckily I have a good amount of free time to work on my resume and portfolio. I know there is a plan bigger than me and better than I ever could have hoped for myself. I’m trusting in that and looking forward to see what is to come.
Posting (especially wedding-related) might be sporadic over the next few weeks, so I appreciate your understanding. I have felt so much love from the blogging community- I appreciate all of you, my virtual friends. I love you all and wish only the best things for you during this holiday season!!