We sent our Save the Dates 9 months before our wedding day, because after 15 months of being engaged we wanted to shout it from the rooftops
“We’ve chosen a date! Mark it on your calendar and celebrate the commitment that we’re making to each other!”
We were under the impression that our friends and family would block the weekend on the calendar; that they would make sure that they could travel that weekend; that they weren’t working or going to school or getting married too. So when I received a Bridal Shower invite to a friend’s wedding for the 26th of May, I wasn’t thrilled about it.
Well, suffice to say she called me; stated that she didn’t understand why I was so upset, that she wasn’t attending my wedding, and that I’m no longer invited to her wedding, bachelorette party, or bridal shower. So I was confused; shouldn’t I be the one who was upset? I made it clear months in advance that our wedding was on May 25th, and she had the gall to overreact?
This wasn’t the first time someone has acted like our wedding wasn’t a big deal; my cousin who originally agreed to allow her son to be our ring bearer told me in January told me that he wouldn’t be able to because her daughter was playing softball for a National league and that the family couldn’t travel that weekend. A once in a lifetime commitment I’m making to my favorite gentleman isn’t a big enough deal for an absence from a sports team?
So, I started to wonder
“Does the size and level of extravagance come into play when it comes to how seriously your friends and family are taking your wedding?”
I found that concept so entirely absurd, yet I realized how common it is for people to see larger, more elaborate functions as more important to attend. My mom has traveled from Massachusetts to both California and South Carolina to attend her two of her niece’s weddings, guest lists of 300 and a centerpiece budget that exceeded the cost of my entire wedding. My aunts though, the mothers of those girls, have decided that the celebration of the commitment I’m making isn’t worth traveling for.
So naturally, I’ve been upset, and have spent the better part of last week moping about how people don’t care about us; really silly, I know. And finally, my favorite gentleman said that if I was so upset, we should just elope; which jolted me back to remembering what he’s been saying all along
“We’ve decided to spend the rest of our lives together; the rest of the wedding celebration? That’s just gravy.”