By now, pretty much everyone knows about my dad’s cancer and The Boy and my impromptu civil ceremony in my home state of Alaska. Our ceremony was the thing that was most important to me from the very beginning of The Boy and my wedding planning. Like, ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was for my daddy to perform my wedding ceremony. So, when I was faced with getting married in a quickly planned ceremony in Alaska with my dad officiating or hoping that he’d still be alive come our May wedding – I picked quickie (and it was a good thing, too. My dad passed away on December 11th). The problem was – we had no official ceremony and I ended up writing the entire thing at 11PM the night before!

Enter my sister’s computer and Google. I typed in the phrase “civil ceremony vows” and got a virtual smorgasbord of hits! I glanced through several options and ended up borrowing quite a bit from this website. I used the Christian Ceremony but altered it to remove all religious references as The Boy and I disagree on religion. I added in two readings that I found and luuurved – my older sister read the first one and my mom read the second.

I also am one of those brides and added the emotional wording from The OffBeat Bride’s Unplugged Wedding movement – for the record, no one seemed to mind a bit. Another thing that I did was add these secondary vows during the ring exchange. I also added a little section for my dad (and The Boy’s close friend – he actually introduced us!) to share this thoughts about us as a couple.

Since I had a bit of a difficult time finding a civil ceremony, I thought that I’d go ahead and post a download of our entire ceremony for all you Budget Savvy Brides (and Grooms) – just in case anyone wants to use it (or a portion of it).

Here’s the full ceremony:

Processional: “Forever” – The Dropkick Murphys*

DAD: Friends and family, I invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks — I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.

DAD: We are gathered here today in the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to Cris and The Boy. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

DAD: Who is it that escorts this woman to this man?

J:I do.

DAD: Cris and The Boy, although life is a gift given to each of us as individuals, we also learn to live together in harmony. Love is a gift to us from our family and friends. Through these gifts of love we learn to ourselves to gift it back. Learning to love and live together is one of life’s greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life.

DAD: Today is truly a glorious day as today both of you are blessed with the greatest of all gifts – the gift of abiding love and devotion. All present here today – and those here in heart – wish both of you all the joy, happiness, and success that the world has to offer.

DAD: We will now hear a reading from the bride’s sister, C.

C: Spoken by Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations….Without question; civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.”

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and who to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

DAD: In this sacred and joyful celebration, we ask every blessing of this moment; a confirmation of the wisdom of your choice; great happiness on the path that is set before you; discretion, kindness, and caring as you walk upon it, strength to live out your purpose, grace and peace through each step of your journey, and beloved family and friends to support you.

DAD: Cris, do you take The Boy to be your husband, your constant friend, and your faithful partner from this day forward? Will you cherish your union and love him more each day than you did the day before? In the presence of your family and friends, do you offer your solemn vow to be his faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Do you promise to love him unconditionally, to support him in his goals, to honor and respect him, and to laugh with him and cry with him? Will you trust him and respect him, regardless of the obstacles you may face together? Do you promise to love and support him through whatever life may bring you?

CRIS: I will.

DAD: The Boy, do you take Cris to be your wife, your constant friend, and your faithful partner from this day forward? Will you cherish your union and love her more each day than you did the day before? In the presence of your family and friends, do you offer your solemn vow to be her faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Do you promise to love her unconditionally, to support her in her goals, to honor and respect her, and to laugh with her and cry with her? Will you trust her and respect her, regardless of the obstacles you may face together? Do you promise to love and support her through whatever life may bring you?

THE BOY: I will.

DAD: These are the rings that Cris and The Boy will wear for the rest of their lives and that express the love that they have for one another. Let us take a moment and send our prayers, our thoughts, and our love into these rings, so that as they wear them, they will carry our love with them as well.

DAD: May we have the rings?

DAD: Cris, please repeat after me. The Boy, I take you to be my husband from this time onward…

CRIS: The Boy, I take you to be my husband from this time onward…

DAD: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

CRIS: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

DAD: to give and to receive…

CRIS: to give and to receive…

DAD: to speak and to listen…

CRIS: to speak and to listen…

DAD: to inspire and to respond…

CRIS: to inspire and to respond…

DAD: and in all circumstances of our life together…

CRIS: and in all circumstances of our life together…

DAD: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

CRIS: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

DAD: The Boy, lease repeat after me. Cris, I take you to be my wife from this time onward…

THE BOY: Cris, I take you to be my wife from this time onward…

DAD: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

THE BOY: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

DAD: to give and to receive…

THE BOY: to give and to receive…

DAD: to speak and to listen…

THE BOY: to speak and to listen…

DAD:

to inspire and to respond…

THE BOY: to inspire and to respond…

DAD:

and in all circumstances of our life together…

THE BOY: and in all circumstances of our life together…

DAD:

to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

THE BOY: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

DAD: We will now hear a reading from the bride’s mother.

MOM: “Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love” by Edmund O’Neill

Marriage is a commitment to life,

the best that two people can find and bring out in each other.

It offers opportunities for sharing and growth

that no other relationship can equal.

It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love,

marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships.

A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend,

confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.

And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing,

and the love of the other may resemble

the tender caring of a parent or child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,

commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly,

and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life

is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life,

new experiences, new ways of expressing

a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,

they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer

than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people

who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Dad’s thoughts (my dad used this time to speak about setting the two of us up and how great it was to marry his friend to his daughter).

DAD: Cris and The Boy, as the two of you have joined this marriage; I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as unique individuals and that you respect the thoughts, ideas, and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together – as from this day forward you shall be each other’s home, comfort, and refuge. May your marriage be strengthened by your love and respect.

DAD: By the power vested in me by the State of Alaska, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

DAD: You may now kiss.

DAD: Friends and family, may I now present to you – Cris and The Boy!

The Recessional: “Marry You” – Bruno Mars

Still with me? If so, I hope that you enjoyed this little rundown of our civil ceremony. Do you have any questions for me? Do you know what your ceremony will be like? How did you source it? You know the drill – fire away in the comments.

*If you purchase the music linked, I get a small kickback as a member of Amazon’s Affliliate Sales Group. You can also find each of these songs on iTunes.

 

I consider myself lucky with my wedding planning because my big must have was booked within a few weeks of our engagement – the photographer. Yep, the photography was my number one wedding must-have. Ya’ll should know something about me – I have always attached memories and feelings to the things that I look at. For example, I have a water bottle that my 12-year-old sister saved up for and bought me as a Christmas present. Every time I see it - I smile.

I love having my memories up and out where I can see them and relive them; thus, the photography for my wedding was SUPER important. I wanted gorgeous photos that told the story of the day that we became a family. That meant coughing up the dough, skipping the DIY path, and hiring a pro. Here’s how I did it:

The first part of the hunt was figuring out exactly what kind of photography I wanted: traditional, posed, candid, photo-journalism, artist, retro? I basically spent loads of time looking at photos and seeing which style “spoke” to me. After lots of looking, I realized that I really liked candid shots and more of the photo-journalism style (along with a few traditional, posed shots for my mom). Also, I wanted a photographer who could take beautiful stylized shots of my DIY projects and décor so that I can showcase them on Kiss My Tulle.

Next, I really had to decide on a budget. ***FULL DISCLOSURE: Because I own and operate a for-profit wedding blog, if I use any of the photography from my wedding day on the blog – I can write-off the entire expense.*** With this in mind, The Boy and I have treated the wedding photography as a completely separate part of our wedding budget – we are treating it like a business expense. It was determined that we could afford to spend $2,000 – $3,500 on this wedding expense (so basically, my $7,500 wedding is really going to be a 5k wedding).

Next, came the actual finding of the photographer – not that easy when you consider the fact that I am planning a wedding in a city that I’ve only recently moved to. I tried Googling it but was overwhelmed by choices. Enter a local wedding fair -where I made it my goal to find my wedding photography before I left it. At the show, I looked over the portfolios of each photographer there and the end of the wedding fair, I had narrowed my choice down to two vendors. I liked both so I decided to interview them. I approached each vendor and was very upfront about the fact that I was talking to them because I was trying to decide between two vendors. Then came the interview portion of the day. I asked each photographer the same set of questions:

• What experience do you have with photography and with shooting weddings?
• Do you offer a free engagement photo session?
• Will there be two photographers shooting the entire wedding?
• Do you have experience shooting middle-aged/not-model-looking people?
• Do you have experience doing wedding shoots with pets?
• Do you have experience/feel comfortable shooting a wedding with an autistic child in the wedding party?
• Can you travel to our wedding venue (our home)?
• How many images will you release to us after the wedding?
• Are your images copyright-free so that we can print them whenever and whereever we want?
• How long do you display the images online after the wedding so that our guests can view them?
• Are you willing to do a few tradtional, posed wedding shots for my mom?
• Do you have experience doing detail shots (for my blog)?

All Images Courtesy of: Miranda Laine Photography

After asking those questions and really listening to the answers I was given, I was able to make a decision. I headed right over to my selected photographer, asked to book my wedding date, and whipped out my checkbook to make my deposit. If you live in the San Antonio/Hill Country area – book Miranda Laine Photography - you will not regret it!

Miranda Laine Photography + Cris = WEDDING AWESOMENESS 4-EVAH!!!

 

Oy. The decisions one must make during wedding planning… because you can try and put them off for as long as possible but eventually – they needs to be made, y’all. One of those major decisions has hit The Boy and I right smack dab in our collective faces, too. And that decision is – where will we be honeymooning?

From the moment we began planning a wedding, we also knew that we wanted to do a honeymoon. See, one of the major reasons that we’re getting married is because we want kids (not romantic but very true) and, due to our ages, we really do need to start trying pretty soon after we get married. So, a honeymoon would be more to us than a fun trip together post-wedding. It’ll be our last big vacation without kids for a long, long time. Because of that, we really want to do it up right.
p style=text-align: leftSo, we’ve been tossing around ideas for places to go and have been trying really hard to come up with a compromise. I want the beach. He wants history (actually, he wanted to go to a hunting lodge but there is NO WAY IN @*%*% I’m spending my vacation butchering something thankyouverymuch). Anyhoo, we’ve narrowed it down to three options:
strong/strong/p
p style=text-align: centerstrongLondon, England (and surrounding areas)/strong/p
p style=text-align: centera href=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/London.jpgimg class=aligncenter size-full wp-image-13608 src=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/London.jpg alt= width=600 height=478 //a/p
p style=text-align: center(Image Courtesy of: a href=http://www.studylanguages.org target=_blank target=_blankStudy Languages/a)/p
p style=text-align: left
The Boy was stationed in England and Wales in the early 1980’s and LOVED it. Unfortunately, due to the political climate of the time, he was never allowed to visit Ireland and that’s always bugged him. Also, one of his good friends (whom I adore) is currently stationed there and it would be fun to see him again./p
p style=text-align: centerstrongCrete, Greece/strong/p
p style=text-align: centera href=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Crete.jpgimg class=aligncenter size-full wp-image-13607 src=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/Crete.jpg alt= width=500 height=333 //a/p
p style=text-align: center(Image Courtesy of: a href=http://www.lannavacations.com target=_blank target=_blankLanna Vacations/a)/p
p style=text-align: leftThe beach! Yummy food! History! This is the one that I’m pulling for, especially after we discovered the a title=Armed Forces Vacation Club href=http://www.afvclub.com/ target=_blankArmed Forces Vacation Club/a – they offer killer deals on lodging all over the world to members of the armed forces and veterans. We found out that you can rent a fully furnished apartment only 100 meters from the beach for just $53.00 a day. A DAY! Score/p
p style=text-align: centerstrongNew Orleans, Louisiana/strong a href=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/New_Orleans.jpgimg class=aligncenter size-full wp-image-13606 src=http://thebudgetsavvybride.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/New_Orleans.jpg alt= width=560 height=366 //a/p
p style=text-align: center(Image Courtesy of: a href=http://madeinneworleans.org/ target=_blank target=_blankMade in New Orleans/a)/p
p style=text-align: leftThis is our omigodwehavenomoney option. Neither of us has been there before and, after the devastating one-two combo of Hurricane Katrina and Gulf Coast spill, we loved the idea of helping support the economy with our tourist dollars. Plus, we lurve eating fresh seafood and mocking drunk people (preferably at the same time)./p
So, have any of you made your honeymoon plans yet? How’d you make the decision? Which place do you think we should pick? Are any of you going to (or have any of you been to) London, Greece, or New Orleans? What should we know before we go? In the meantime, you can also a href=http://pinterest.com/kissmytulle/honeymoony/ target=_blankfollow my honeymoon board on Pinterest/a and see what I’m thinking of packing!

It’s official. At my wedding, I will have THE MOST INCREDIBLE wedding dress – with a more incredible story behind it AND ALL FOR FREE! Confused? I understand. I am not very girly and haven’t been dreaming about my wedding gown for years. In fact, after I got engaged, everyone asked me what I would wear (this is the very next question after “Where’s the ring?” and “What’s the date?”… and I couldn’t tell them a thing. I just was not interested. I tried. Really, I did. I bought The Knot’s Wedding Dress Look Book Issue, I browsed wedding sites, and clicked through Martha’s Gallery. But – nada. Nothing. Nien.

But then, as it always seems to go, within weeks of me delegating this job and stopping the search – I found it. My dress.

I was browsing through Recycle Your Wedding over at Ruffled and stumbled upon a strange little ad. It went like this:

“For the past six months, I’ve been racking my brain, trying to figure out what to do with my wedding dress… my poor little dress has just been sitting in my closet all by her lonesome. It really made me sad to think that in her short life, she only had one day in the sun, only one day of glory. She was such a beautiful dress and did such a good job at making me feel absolutely stunning on my day; she really deserved at least one more spin on the dance floor. So, I’ve decided that the best way to honor our day and the dress is to donate her to another bride on a budget, ensuring she dances again.”

And this was the accompanying picture:

And I fell in love. It was so beautiful and classic and modest (yet sexy). I held my breath and wrote to the lovely lady offering the dress. Then I hoped.

And within days I got an answer, I got picked! Elizabeth Perrin Fairchild, the lovely woman who wanted her dress to find a new home, picked me to share its story. She was thrilled that I was getting married right next to her parent’s hometown and that I had been working so hard to lose weight and become a healthier person for myself and my future husband. We’ve been emailing each other ever since (She was one of the first people I talked to when my dad was diagnosed, when The Boy and I had our impromptu civil ceremony, and when my dad died. Ellie has truly become a friend to me.).

But here’s the REALLY cool part. Elizabeth and I are so thrilled with this “recycling” program and with how it connected us that we’re launching it as a full-scale movement – The Wedding Dress Project (http://theweddingdressproject.webs.com/). The Wedding Dress Project allows people to share their wedding dress with other brides, who will then share it with another bride, and so on. We call it “Recycling the Love” and I am really looking forward to sharing my dress (the original Wedding Dress Project) with another bride after my May 2012 nuptials.

The first weekend I had the dress, I tried it on no less than 4 times. WHAT?!?! I had to try it one once to see if it fit, once to show the cat, once to show the dog, and another time to watch a little TV (The guys on “The Big Bang Theory” needed to share my joy.). Totally normal and absolutely appropriate wedding-dress-wearings. So, whattya think? Would you gift your dress to a stranger? Would you wear a gifted dress? Share away!

 

One of the easiest parts of planning The Boy and my wedding has been the wedding party selection – basically, everyone’s in. Anybody who wants to be a part of the wedding will have a job or a position – I don’t want anyone to feel left out (No one EVER picked me for their weddings when I was younger because my sisters [and then nieces] were pretty and I wasn’t – it blew.). So at my wedding? Everybody’s in. That means we have:

• 1 Matron of Honor (my best friend)
• 2 Bridesmaids (my two closest friends after my best friend)
• 1 Best Man (The Boy’s best friend)
• 2 Groomsmen (The Boy’s brother and closest work friend)
• 8 Junior Bridesmaids
• 5 Flower Girls
• 2 Ring Bearers
• and assorted teenage boys (some related to us and some just sweeties from the neighborhood) to act as Waitstaff and Dog and/or Cat Wranglers

Aaand…wow. That may look really overwhelming but I grew up in a family with ten kids and a large extended family so my thoughts are – the more, the merrier. And while selecting my wedding party was no biggie (and DIYing a some really cute “Will you be my bridesmaid?” and “Will you be in my wedding?” invitations) – narrowing down the question of who’s wearing what has been a beast.

One of the interesting things about our wedding is that we are both “older” (I’ll be 34 and he’ll be 45 when we get hitched) so, while I lurve looking at the hip choices so many cool young guys are making for their wedding togs these days, at our wedding? It just ain’t gonna happen. See, The Boy’s friends are roughly his age – these are not men who can pull off that quirky bowtie/suspenders/pullover look (without it being visually painful).

So, what to do? Well, from the very beginning of our wedding planning process, The Boy and I had decided to forge rentals and have him wear this charcoal grey suit (with white pinstripes) that he already owns (and I adore on him). It looks exactly like this:

We elected to have the other ‘mens also dig into their closets and find (not matching but similar) grey suits and white shirts. They’ll look something like this (from J Crew):

We’re providing them with striped silk ties that I found at Express (on sale for half off – which ended up being a whopping $20.00 each) and pocket squares (vintage hankies that a sweet friend in California is gifting us):

And for the ring bearers, I nixed suits and asked their moms to provide grey flat-front pants (NO PLEATS – for the love of FugGirls! No more pleated pants EVAH!) and white dress shirts. We’re gifting them these “look how they match the Big Guys” ties (at $6.99 each from Burlington Coat Factory), striped suspenders, and colorful sunglasses:

Next came the bridesmaids, who are gorgeous and I planned to keep them that way on my wedding day (Listen y’all – stop making your bridesmaids look like poo so that you’ll look amazing – YOU’RE THE BRIDE! You’ll look glorious. Stop being petty). I saw this picture in San Antonio Weddings and loved the mismatched bridesmaid dress look:

So I told my ‘maids to look in their closets for a pretty dress in blue and let them wear any color/style shoe they wanted (they’re adults – I think they can handle making these decisions). I plan on gifting them with jewelry to wear the day of and maybe making some matching sashes to tie their dresses together.

The flower girls were actually my easiest decision. YEARS ago, I was flipping through a copy of Martha Stewart Weddings while helping a friend with her wedding and came across this image:

To. Die. For. I immediately ripped it out and have hung on to it ever since. My five flower girls will BE this photo. I’ve bought a pattern and five different shades of pink material and plan on whipping up five dresses sometime in April. I’ll also be gifting them with some type of jewelry and a cute headband.

The Junior Bridesmaids were actually the hardest group to make a clothing decision for. There are 8 of them and they range in ages from 12-17. So what’s appropriate style-wise for the 12 year-old isn’t going to appeal to the 17 year-old and vice versa. In addition, this was the crew that cared the most about what they were wearing so I started collecting ideas right off the bat. But I just could not find anything that I loved. I knew that I wanted them all to wear shades of green and feel “grown up” in whatever they ended up in. Then I had an AHA moment – why not post links to the outfits I had found on Facebook and have them pick out their favorites? Worked like a charm – here’s the one that they picked (from ebay):

So how about y’all? How did you choose what your wedding party wore? Whattya think of my choices? Or are you still wondering if I am, indeed, INSANE for having so many people in my wedding crew? Share it with the class in the comments!