With the wedding date closing in, I’m beginning to realize that instead of just buying supplies and PLANNING my DIY projects, I need to actually start completing them.  One of the first photos I had seen that that kind of set the tone for what I wanted our wedding style to be, were moss-covered monograms (strange, I know).  They’ve since become more popular, and after reading an couple of tutorials for ideas, I bought some supplies to get started.  One thing I’m starting to realize with DIY, is that it’s always smart to price your supplies BEFORE buying/starting anything.  Oddly enough, even though sometimes you can make something yourself, it’s cheaper just to buy one pre-made.  The monograms  on ETSY start anywhere from $25 each, and skyrocket from there.  Obviously, in this case the DIY was a huge savings.

Please excuse the crude photography that follows…

I had originally planned to sketch & cut my letters out of styrofoam, and then cover them with loose moss.  After reading a couple of tutorials, I decided to use moss mat by SuperMoss at Hobby Lobby (I ended up using about half of a package).  It’s so much easier to work with because it’s already fixed to a sheet that you can cut and work with, as opposed to trying to even out the clumpy moss that comes in bags.  In looking around at Hobby Lobby, I also decided to go with premade letters, as they were $1.99 each, which was less than the styrofoam I would have needed, not to mention much less trouble.

First, I took out my moss sheets, and traced around my letters on the moss backing with a Sharpie.  It may seem like common sense, but be sure to consider what side of your letter you’re covering, and trace accordingly, as you could end up with backwards letters.  I then carefully cut my moss on the pilot lines with scissors, making the pretty letters.

Next it was time for some careful hot gluing.  To avoid my glue hardening or becoming messy before I pressed the moss on, I chose to carefully move section-by-section, which seemed to work well.  I found it important to keep the rest of the letter/cut in perspective too, so that all parts of the letter line up, and nothing becomes stretched or “lumpy” looking.

Lastly, I tied a nice ribbon to hang the monograms by (it looks burgundy in the terrible photos, but is actually chocolate brown).  I ended up making both an “E” and “C” to hang on the front doors of the Barn.  Eric & I will have the same initials after we’re married, so I thought this looked better than a three letter monogram with two E’s.  I also liked the fact that I can find a place for these to hang after our wedding.  For once, this project actually WAS as easy as it sounds!  My cost for the two letters and moss was about $7.

I’m pretty happy with the way they turned out. What do you think?

While many people who know me may describe me as “laid back,” throughout this planning process I’ve realized that they couldn’t be more wrong.  In some areas I think I’ve maintained a light and reasonable grasp on things, but private freak-outs, anxiety, and momentary stupidity have unfortunately become the norm.

After being prescribed adrenal pills because my mental stress is using up all of my adrenaline (not leaving enough for my physical needs), I had to figure out some ways to chill the #!@% out.  I found a great article online (that I’m kicking myself for not saving to share), which led me take some time to really analyze what’s working for me and what isn’t.  Although I might not FEEL normal right now, after talking about it with others, sadly this isn’t totally abnormal.  The doctor in fact said that they oftentimes call the adrenal issue “Wedding or Vacation Syndrome,” after he jokingly asked me “You’re not planning a wedding or something, are you?” and was answered with a blank stare.

Below are some adjustments that I’m really working on:

Time Management—It seems easy to find yourself completely consumed with everything wedding-oriented.  I’m finding it much more healthy to designate days of the week where I will focus on bearing down on wedding details/plans, and then afterwards go a day or two where I try to not even DISCUSS the wedding, let alone plan or research (which can be a challenge).  I don’t typically stray at work anymore, unless it’s during my lunch hour.

Chillax on the Lists—I’m a list-maker.  In college I would make a daily “to do” list, sometimes even factoring in times, which I realize is strange.  I feel like I have a better hold on things if I have a list.  While they’re very necessary for me to function, I’ve had to kick back.  I have one large “master list” for wedding things, but I don’t look at it daily—once a week is it , and I cross off whatever I’ve accomplished!  If I need smaller sub-lists (which I do), I really try to not obsess over them (doing so makes me feel overwhelmed).

Keeping Time in Perspective– I have deleted myself from those notices from TheKnot.com saying that you have ____ days until your wedding.  When a new month rolls over, I tend to also feel more rushed.  I know May is coming up, I’m more ahead of my planning than I feel like I am, and too many reminders of this variety make me break out in hot flashes.  They’re done.

Take It a Little At a Time—Dave Ramsey’s debt philosophies say, “Pay off the smallest debt first to create the greatest momentum in your debt snowball.”  I’m applying that to tasks AND budget.  Taking care of some smaller tasks throughout the week instead of just focusing on the huge ones is helping me to feel like I have more accomplished, and less to worry about at the last minute.  To take the Gospel of Dave Ramsey that much further, I’m also using his envelope system.  I’m marking envelopes for the photographer, flowers, decorations, favors, hair/makeup, etc., and putting the appropriate amount of cash in each.  I’m a visual person, and this is giving me assurance that I’ve got what I need, and it’s ready when I need it. Just like with the “debt snowball,” I’m starting off with the lesser amounts.

Live Your Everyday Life—I don’t want to look back after all of this and feel like the last 8 months of my life have been dedicated to JUST to the wedding.  Eric & I have been trying to do more non-wedding things, like having people over for the Super Bowl, to dinner, outside functions, etc..  It gives me something else to focus on during my “down time” from the wedding madness.

Unwind—Some people may find exercise, meditation, talking about it with someone who understands, writing, and tons of other things as good ways to unwind.  Figure out what relaxes/calms you, and really try to dedicate some time to it.

Accept That Nothing is Perfect– Including your wedding!  And no, figuring out WHAT will go wrong doesn’t necessarily need to become the pinnacle of your life.

I’ve found another helpful article that I’d suggest anyone reading who is going through some similar issues.  It more analyzes some typical wedding stressors, and some solutions to think through:

“Rise Above Wedding Planning Stress…The Antidote to the Bridal Blues”

Photo By Foster Cryer Photography

I wish I would have used Reception Lighting. It would have given the bland banquet hall more pizzaz. I also wish I would have had a photo booth. I would have gotten more pictures of my guests and their personalities. A couple of things I’m glad I did was to have a live band instead of a dj. It’s more energetic and fun. Several of the guests were musical and they all got up and played/sang. Made for great entertainment. Also, I got my cake at a local grocery store. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was pretty and tasted good. I also highly recommend getting a good photographer

-Valerie, Oklahoma (wedding photographer)

Small wedding, huge reception helped me out a lot with nerves! Also I loved having the wedding video, but I should of paid for them to do the reception also. The photographer is worth the money, wish I would of gotten someone else but went cheaper. Don’t stress about the small stuff that is what the maid of honor and your personal assistant is there for, I loved my girls for dealing with issues. I also made a lot of my own things and that actually was fun because I saved money and it looked nice. Most importantly, do what you want and you make decisions and don’t let others make them for you.

-Katie, Iowa

My wedding was decades ago…I would not have done an ice sculpture I ordered a swan and it looked like a dragon. It was just another way for the hotel catering to charge daddy more! That “wow” moment we thought was going to be delivered when we saw it…. turned into a “WTF” moment!

-Tami, Florida

I thought doing a bucket of flip flops in the bathroom for the ladies was well worth it. You can get them at the dollar store. My aunt arranged the flowers that we bought wholesale and of course they looked great. We engraved bottles of wine from the vineyard we were married at for gifts for the parents. Bridesmaid dresses were regular dresses from Macy’s because I only had two people.

-Amy, Texas

I’d say, of course use your contacts to your advantage. I found a friend who was good at taking charge to lead the rehearsal. After the rehearsal we had pizza waiting for everyone in the church basement. I borrowed the warmers from the pizza place to keep the pizza warm till we were ready. I had gone to a yard sale and the girl was selling her centerpieces which were red and white. I snatched them up. After the reception, the reception hall wanted to buy them for their collection. Awesome for me! For the dinner I ordered half cornish hens for the main dish. If you know someone in the restaurant industry, they usually will help you out and order from their food truck for cost!

-Nanette, Missouri

My wedding cost a total of $3200 (including the dress & everything) Here’s what I did to save money:  1) I did the food myself (with the help of friends & family) Buffet-style with BBQ  and sides.  2) I bought my cake from Walmart & it turned out AWESOME! (I was shocked too!) The reason I used Walmart was because I forgot to order the cake in time, and Walmart only needed 2 weeks (the wedding cake & groom’s cake both only cost me $105 TOTAL)! Everyone thought it was delicious & no one knew it was from Wally-World.

-Sarah, Tennessee

Don’t get uptight over the “little” things…..the important thing is that you are getting married…something may go wrong—-don’t let it bother you..just smile and move ahead. DON’T go in debt for the wedding either—it’s just one day—you don’t want to start out on the “short end.”

-Angie, Iowa (I was her flower girl at the tender age of 9)

I stressed about nothing and stayed extremely organized. I had a Wedding Notebook to use to compare prices on stuff and keep up with business cards. Fortunately we knew so many people we didn’t have to pay much for labor….as in for flowers, our cake, our caterer, the band, and the DJ. I got a beautiful dress but did not go overboard. I do suggest printing out the order of your wedding and take it with you to the rehearsal. Also have somebody who can take charge and direct and knows your vision so you don’t have to worry about it. But I would have a sheet that makes completely clear what you want. We bought decor from Hobby Lobby and even Party City. It was a beautiful wedding and reception, looked expensive because I decorated it well….but it was not

-Juliana, Tennessee

We had a sand ceremony in the park with our six children. It was the best and everyone commented on how cool it was!

-Sandee, Iowa

I didn’t want to waste money on favors, so we took about half of the money that would have been spent and donated it to the colon cancer society in honor of my aunt. On the tables we put little notes that stated what we did instead of favors. We saved money and it was better then spending money on favors that people don’t really care about.  We did serve a meal but we bought lasagnas on sale and baked them the day of the wedding, added a salad and green beans and no one had a clue we did the food! It looked like it was all catered

-Amy, West Virginia

I felt bad about asking my bridesmaids to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress they’ll never wear again so I just told them all to pick out their own. I just asked they all be the same color. Something they liked that they could wear again. Some people may not like not having all the bridesmaids match, but I loved it. Each bridesmaid is a different person and so was her dress!! They all wore black cocktail dresses.

-Tina, Virginia

It seems like as soon as you announce an engagement, you’re instantly flooded with questions and unsolicited advise, as well as opnions that you may or may not want.  I thought it would be a fun project to reach out to family and friends for thoughts on things that they would have done differently with their own weddings.  I’ve gotten some good food for thought.  I ended up getting several responses and wanted to share them with the BSB World!

I’m happy Nick and I opted to do things our own way and not to feel obligated to do things the ‘traditional’ way. Instead of a DJ and the dance, we had a charter bus and went to a bar and then picked up the tab. We had visited the bar prior and agreed w/ the bar to flag us when the tab got to a certain amount so we would be surprised We also didn’t have a wedding cake because we both hate cake. But, we did have a dessert bar and then our own personal cheese cake.  We got a lot of flack before the wedding because of some of the things we cut out but afterwards received so many compliments on how nice it was because it was obvious it was about us and what was important to us. We also got the idea from ‘Friends’ to have our friend, Peter, get ordained to marry us. I think more people do this now,but 7 years ago it was a bit usual.  Oh, and I had Taylor (my daughter) AND my dad give me away. With so many second marriages or children born first, it was something nice and I know she remember is vividly even though she was 5.

-Jessica, Iowa

I definitely have one thing that has bothered me ever since my wedding almost five years ago that I wish I could go back and do over. We decided to skip the receiving line after the ceremony (for the sake of taking pictures/saving time), and greet the guests at our reception instead. However, our wedding was in our local town, and the reception was about 20 minutes away, downtown. Some of our older relatives decided not to make the drive on the interstate downtown, so we missed even being about to thank them for coming. I really regret that.

-Lindsay, Indiana

We didn’t have a helpful wedding party. My wedding party was more concerned about themselves than helping me – so be careful who you pick!

– Janet, Ohio

I would have NEVER have picked the colors I ended up with – it was a bad compromise & a long story but I hated them (sage & butter).  Something I DID do that was super cheap & effective was look at dresses in stores, write down the designers & styles and then ordered mine online (so naughty!).

-Jennifer, Missouri

I would have had a larger wedding.  We were given a generous budget by my parents, and chose to use part on a smaller wedding, and the other part to buy a new car.  I don’t remember a thing about the car now, but wish we would have had a larger wedding.

    -My Mother, Iowa

I would not have had my sister-in-law stand up with me.  She was a pain, hated the yellow dress, and complained the whole day. 

-”Don’t put my name on this”, Illinois

Photo By Image Trick Photography

I wish I would have taken more time making some decisions. We got engaged on April 17th and got married on August 15th, so that literally left me with 4 months to plan a wedding!  A short engagement is definitely do-able but I wish I would have thought a little more about what I wanted certain things to look like. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with the way everything turned out, but if I would have had a little more time I would have probably chosen a few different things: I would have discussed (in details) with the florist what my bouquet was going to look like.  I would have gone over the final look of the cake before the wedding. It had too much ribbon and stuff on it, I would have liked it a little more simple (but it was delicious!) I would have liked more pictures done outside too.

    -Stefanie, Tennessee

If getting married in a facility where you have to use their food and beverage (unless you are tied to a sit-down meal), offering buffet style heavy hor’devours or food stations in a reception style, can many times be more economical than a plated meal.  If your reception time is “between meal times” –plan on approx. 4-6 pieces of food per person.  And…if you are tied to a plated meal….negotiate serving a lunch portion rather than dinner.  For hotels, the per person cost can be as much as half the cost for a lunch portion meal.

-Jill, Tennessee (also works in event planning)

No moonshine!

-Lisa, West Virginia

Things I wish I had done differently are researching/asking around more about my photographer and caterer. Wish I would have gotten a bigger venue. Wish I would’ve waited a couple more months to get married to we could have a little bit nicer wedding. Things I’m glad I did are starting and maintaining a binder with pictures of things I liked and ideas I got about decor, etc. Glad I stuck with the vision I had for the actual ceremony even though some people seemed to think it wouldn’t work. (It did work!) Wedding was January 2006.

          -Lauren, Kentucky

I would have never had an open bar.  The cost ended up being a LOT more than we had anticipated because we paid on a per-drink basis.  I felt like we were secretly looking around to see who was drinking a $15 glass of champagne.  We also had a few people “overindulge” and cause drama, which may have been avoided.

    -Nicole, Tennessee

Keep things about the two of you– My wedding was more my Mother’s than mine.

-Annonymous, Ohio

Photo By Henderson Photography

I would have asked my bridesmaids in a more creative way.  I would also recommend a venue that does not make you cater from them alone, but allows outside catering.  They get you with that!

-Lindsey, Tennessee