Choosing a wedding party may or may not be easy for some. For me, I had a little trouble in balancing my past friends through the years, and my current friends, so I opted for all current relationships and mostly local (you know, so they can feel obligated to be nudged into craft slavery). After being through the bridesmaid drill before, here are some things I tried to take into consideration:
- Is this person helpful? Are they going to chip in on helping each other with showers or helping me with things if something comes up?
- Are they reliable? Will they be on time for pictures and other things that they agree to (it never hurts to bend the truth by about 30 mins to ensure this), are they heavy procrastinators, etc.?
- Is this person financially able to purchase a dress (if applicable) and travel to the wedding if needed, or will it be a burden for them?
- Drama queen? Does this person seem to over-complicate things, cause problems with others, compulsively complain about everything, or make mountains out of mole hills? Think of the stress ALREADY involved with the wedding planning– You need a support system and help, not an extra stress factor added into the mix.
Some may disagree, but I think it IS okay to politely decline being asked to be part of a wedding party if you think it’s something that you’re uncomfortable with. On that same note, if some things aren’t working out with one of the members in your wedding party, I think it’s okay to give them an easy out if you can find someone to take their place. One of my good friends had a bridesmaid that lied about having ordered her dress on time & the bridal shop called the bride, the girl said she was on her way to the shower & bachelorette party and then didn’t show up to either one, and several other things factored in as well. After some soul-searching, the Bride ended up feeling forced to ask the bridesmaid to just attend the wedding as a guest and not worry about everything else. I’ve had other Brides tell me that they only wished they would have done the same with someone in their wedding party. One lost a good friendship over wedding issues, and another told me she barely talked to the problematic bridesmaid anymore after the wedding. Unfortunately, we ended up doing this with a groomsmen in order to simplify several things as well. It wasn’t easy, but I think everyone is better off in the long run.
Here’s an interesting article that I read in the Huffington Post about choosing to nix bridesmaids altogether. It makes me that much more appreciate of such great, easy-going & helpful bridesmaids of my own that are adding to my day instead of taking away from it!
Have you had any drama in your wedding party? If so, how’d you handle it?