By now, pretty much everyone knows about my dad’s cancer and The Boy and my impromptu civil ceremony in my home state of Alaska. Our ceremony was the thing that was most important to me from the very beginning of The Boy and my wedding planning. Like, ever since I was a little girl, all I ever wanted was for my daddy to perform my wedding ceremony. So, when I was faced with getting married in a quickly planned ceremony in Alaska with my dad officiating or hoping that he’d still be alive come our May wedding – I picked quickie (and it was a good thing, too. My dad passed away on December 11th). The problem was – we had no official ceremony and I ended up writing the entire thing at 11PM the night before!

Enter my sister’s computer and Google. I typed in the phrase “civil ceremony vows” and got a virtual smorgasbord of hits! I glanced through several options and ended up borrowing quite a bit from this website. I used the Christian Ceremony but altered it to remove all religious references as The Boy and I disagree on religion. I added in two readings that I found and luuurved – my older sister read the first one and my mom read the second.

I also am one of those brides and added the emotional wording from The OffBeat Bride’s Unplugged Wedding movement – for the record, no one seemed to mind a bit. Another thing that I did was add these secondary vows during the ring exchange. I also added a little section for my dad (and The Boy’s close friend – he actually introduced us!) to share this thoughts about us as a couple.

Since I had a bit of a difficult time finding a civil ceremony, I thought that I’d go ahead and post a download of our entire ceremony for all you Budget Savvy Brides (and Grooms) – just in case anyone wants to use it (or a portion of it).

Here’s the full ceremony:

Processional: “Forever” – The Dropkick Murphys*

DAD: Friends and family, I invite you to be truly present at this special time. Please, turn off your cell phones and put down your cameras. The photographer will capture how this moment looks — I encourage you all to capture how it feels with your hearts, without the distraction of technology.

DAD: We are gathered here today in the presence of friends and loved ones, to celebrate one of life’s greatest moments, to give recognition to the worth and beauty of love, and to add our best wishes and blessings to Cris and The Boy. In the years they have been together, their love and understanding of each other has grown and matured, and now they have decided to live their lives together as husband and wife.

DAD: Who is it that escorts this woman to this man?

J:I do.

DAD: Cris and The Boy, although life is a gift given to each of us as individuals, we also learn to live together in harmony. Love is a gift to us from our family and friends. Through these gifts of love we learn to ourselves to gift it back. Learning to love and live together is one of life’s greatest challenges and is the shared goal of a married life.

DAD: Today is truly a glorious day as today both of you are blessed with the greatest of all gifts – the gift of abiding love and devotion. All present here today – and those here in heart – wish both of you all the joy, happiness, and success that the world has to offer.

DAD: We will now hear a reading from the bride’s sister, C.

C: Spoken by Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall

Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations….Without question; civil marriage enhances the “welfare of the community.” It is a “social institution of the highest importance.”

Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Civil marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family…. Because it fulfills yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, civil marriage is an esteemed institution and the decision whether and who to marry is among life’s momentous acts of self-definition.

DAD: In this sacred and joyful celebration, we ask every blessing of this moment; a confirmation of the wisdom of your choice; great happiness on the path that is set before you; discretion, kindness, and caring as you walk upon it, strength to live out your purpose, grace and peace through each step of your journey, and beloved family and friends to support you.

DAD: Cris, do you take The Boy to be your husband, your constant friend, and your faithful partner from this day forward? Will you cherish your union and love him more each day than you did the day before? In the presence of your family and friends, do you offer your solemn vow to be his faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Do you promise to love him unconditionally, to support him in his goals, to honor and respect him, and to laugh with him and cry with him? Will you trust him and respect him, regardless of the obstacles you may face together? Do you promise to love and support him through whatever life may bring you?

CRIS: I will.

DAD: The Boy, do you take Cris to be your wife, your constant friend, and your faithful partner from this day forward? Will you cherish your union and love her more each day than you did the day before? In the presence of your family and friends, do you offer your solemn vow to be her faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. Do you promise to love her unconditionally, to support her in her goals, to honor and respect her, and to laugh with her and cry with her? Will you trust her and respect her, regardless of the obstacles you may face together? Do you promise to love and support her through whatever life may bring you?

THE BOY: I will.

DAD: These are the rings that Cris and The Boy will wear for the rest of their lives and that express the love that they have for one another. Let us take a moment and send our prayers, our thoughts, and our love into these rings, so that as they wear them, they will carry our love with them as well.

DAD: May we have the rings?

DAD: Cris, please repeat after me. The Boy, I take you to be my husband from this time onward…

CRIS: The Boy, I take you to be my husband from this time onward…

DAD: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

CRIS: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

DAD: to give and to receive…

CRIS: to give and to receive…

DAD: to speak and to listen…

CRIS: to speak and to listen…

DAD: to inspire and to respond…

CRIS: to inspire and to respond…

DAD: and in all circumstances of our life together…

CRIS: and in all circumstances of our life together…

DAD: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

CRIS: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

DAD: The Boy, lease repeat after me. Cris, I take you to be my wife from this time onward…

THE BOY: Cris, I take you to be my wife from this time onward…

DAD: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

THE BOY: to join with you and to share all that is to come…

DAD: to give and to receive…

THE BOY: to give and to receive…

DAD: to speak and to listen…

THE BOY: to speak and to listen…

DAD:

to inspire and to respond…

THE BOY: to inspire and to respond…

DAD:

and in all circumstances of our life together…

THE BOY: and in all circumstances of our life together…

DAD:

to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

THE BOY: to be loyal to you with my whole life and with my being.

DAD: We will now hear a reading from the bride’s mother.

MOM: “Marriage Joins Two People In The Circle Of Its Love” by Edmund O’Neill

Marriage is a commitment to life,

the best that two people can find and bring out in each other.

It offers opportunities for sharing and growth

that no other relationship can equal.

It is a physical and an emotional joining that is promised for a lifetime.

Within the circle of its love,

marriage encompasses all of life’s most important relationships.

A wife and a husband are each other’s best friend,

confidant, lover, teacher, listener, and critic.

And there may come times when one partner is heartbroken or ailing,

and the love of the other may resemble

the tender caring of a parent or child.

Marriage deepens and enriches every facet of life.

Happiness is fuller, memories are fresher,

commitment is stronger, even anger is felt more strongly,

and passes away more quickly.

Marriage understands and forgives the mistakes life

is unable to avoid. It encourages and nurtures new life,

new experiences, new ways of expressing

a love that is deeper than life.

When two people pledge their love and care for each other in marriage,

they create a spirit unique unto themselves which binds them closer

than any spoken or written words.

Marriage is a promise, a potential made in the hearts of two people

who love each other and takes a lifetime to fulfill.

Dad’s thoughts (my dad used this time to speak about setting the two of us up and how great it was to marry his friend to his daughter).

DAD: Cris and The Boy, as the two of you have joined this marriage; I would ask that you always remember to cherish each other as unique individuals and that you respect the thoughts, ideas, and suggestions of one another. Be able to forgive, do not hold grudges, and live each day that you may share it together – as from this day forward you shall be each other’s home, comfort, and refuge. May your marriage be strengthened by your love and respect.

DAD: By the power vested in me by the State of Alaska, I now pronounce you husband and wife.

DAD: You may now kiss.

DAD: Friends and family, may I now present to you – Cris and The Boy!

The Recessional: “Marry You” – Bruno Mars

Still with me? If so, I hope that you enjoyed this little rundown of our civil ceremony. Do you have any questions for me? Do you know what your ceremony will be like? How did you source it? You know the drill – fire away in the comments.

*If you purchase the music linked, I get a small kickback as a member of Amazon’s Affliliate Sales Group. You can also find each of these songs on iTunes.

 

 

I wish I would have used Reception Lighting. It would have given the bland banquet hall more pizzaz. I also wish I would have had a photo booth. I would have gotten more pictures of my guests and their personalities. A couple of things I’m glad I did was to have a live band instead of a dj. It’s more energetic and fun. Several of the guests were musical and they all got up and played/sang. Made for great entertainment. Also, I got my cake at a local grocery store. It wasn’t extravagant, but it was pretty and tasted good. I also highly recommend getting a good photographer

-Valerie, Oklahoma (wedding photographer)

 

 

 

Small wedding, huge reception helped me out a lot with nerves! Also I loved having the wedding video, but I should of paid for them to do the reception also. The photographer is worth the money, wish I would of gotten someone else but went cheaper. Don’t stress about the small stuff that is what the maid of honor and your personal assistant is there for, I loved my girls for dealing with issues. I also made a lot of my own things and that actually was fun because I saved money and it looked nice. Most importantly, do what you want and you make decisions and don’t let others make them for you.

-Katie, Iowa

 

My wedding was decades ago…I would not have done an ice sculpture I ordered a swan and it looked like a dragon. It was just another way for the hotel catering to charge daddy more! That “wow” moment we thought was going to be delivered when we saw it…. turned into a “WTF” moment!

-Tami, Florida

 

I thought doing a bucket of flip flops in the bathroom for the ladies was well worth it. You can get them at the dollar store. My aunt arranged the flowers that we bought wholesale and of course they looked great. We engraved bottles of wine from the vineyard we were married at for gifts for the parents. Bridesmaid dresses were regular dresses from Macy’s because I only had two people.

-Amy, Texas

 

 

I’d say, of course use your contacts to your advantage. I found a friend who was good at taking charge to lead the rehearsal. After the rehearsal we had pizza waiting for everyone in the church basement. I borrowed the warmers from the pizza place to keep the pizza warm till we were ready. I had gone to a yard sale and the girl was selling her centerpieces which were red and white. I snatched them up. After the reception, the reception hall wanted to buy them for their collection. Awesome for me! For the dinner I ordered half cornish hens for the main dish. If you know someone in the restaurant industry, they usually will help you out and order from their food truck for cost!

-Nanette, Missouri

 

 

My wedding cost a total of $3200 (including the dress & everything) Here’s what I did to save money:  1) I did the food myself (with the help of friends & family) Buffet-style with BBQ  and sides.  2) I bought my cake from Walmart & it turned out AWESOME! (I was shocked too!) The reason I used Walmart was because I forgot to order the cake in time, and Walmart only needed 2 weeks (the wedding cake & groom’s cake both only cost me $105 TOTAL)! Everyone thought it was delicious & no one knew it was from Wally-World.

-Sarah, Tennessee

 

 

Don’t get uptight over the “little” things…..the important thing is that you are getting married…something may go wrong—-don’t let it bother you..just smile and move ahead. DON’T go in debt for the wedding either—it’s just one day—you don’t want to start out on the “short end.”

-Angie, Iowa (I was her flower girl at the tender age of 9)

 

I stressed about nothing and stayed extremely organized. I had a Wedding Notebook to use to compare prices on stuff and keep up with business cards. Fortunately we knew so many people we didn’t have to pay much for labor….as in for flowers, our cake, our caterer, the band, and the DJ. I got a beautiful dress but did not go overboard. I do suggest printing out the order of your wedding and take it with you to the rehearsal. Also have somebody who can take charge and direct and knows your vision so you don’t have to worry about it. But I would have a sheet that makes completely clear what you want. We bought decor from Hobby Lobby and even Party City. It was a beautiful wedding and reception, looked expensive because I decorated it well….but it was not

-Juliana, Tennessee

 

We had a sand ceremony in the park with our six children. It was the best and everyone commented on how cool it was!

-Sandee, Iowa

 

I didn’t want to waste money on favors, so we took about half of the money that would have been spent and donated it to the colon cancer society in honor of my aunt. On the tables we put little notes that stated what we did instead of favors. We saved money and it was better then spending money on favors that people don’t really care about.  We did serve a meal but we bought lasagnas on sale and baked them the day of the wedding, added a salad and green beans and no one had a clue we did the food! It looked like it was all catered

-Amy, West Virginia

 

 

I felt bad about asking my bridesmaids to spend hundreds of dollars on a dress they’ll never wear again so I just told them all to pick out their own. I just asked they all be the same color. Something they liked that they could wear again. Some people may not like not having all the bridesmaids match, but I loved it. Each bridesmaid is a different person and so was her dress!! They all wore black cocktail dresses.

-Tina, Virginia

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It seems like as soon as you announce an engagement, you’re instantly flooded with questions and unsolicited advise, as well as opnions that you may or may not want.  I thought it would be a fun project to reach out to family and friends for thoughts on things that they would have done differently with their own weddings.  I’ve gotten some good food for thought.  I ended up getting several responses and wanted to share them with the BSB World!

 

I’m happy Nick and I opted to do things our own way and not to feel obligated to do things the ‘traditional’ way. Instead of a DJ and the dance, we had a charter bus and went to a bar and then picked up the tab. We had visited the bar prior and agreed w/ the bar to flag us when the tab got to a certain amount so we would be surprised We also didn’t have a wedding cake because we both hate cake. But, we did have a dessert bar and then our own personal cheese cake.  We got a lot of flack before the wedding because of some of the things we cut out but afterwards received so many compliments on how nice it was because it was obvious it was about us and what was important to us. We also got the idea from ‘Friends’ to have our friend, Peter, get ordained to marry us. I think more people do this now,but 7 years ago it was a bit usual.  Oh, and I had Taylor (my daughter) AND my dad give me away. With so many second marriages or children born first, it was something nice and I know she remember is vividly even though she was 5.

-Jessica, Iowa

 

 

I definitely have one thing that has bothered me ever since my wedding almost five years ago that I wish I could go back and do over. We decided to skip the receiving line after the ceremony (for the sake of taking pictures/saving time), and greet the guests at our reception instead. However, our wedding was in our local town, and the reception was about 20 minutes away, downtown. Some of our older relatives decided not to make the drive on the interstate downtown, so we missed even being about to thank them for coming. I really regret that.

-Lindsay, Indiana

 

We didn’t have a helpful wedding party. My wedding party was more concerned about themselves than helping me – so be careful who you pick!

– Janet, Ohio

 

 

I would have NEVER have picked the colors I ended up with – it was a bad compromise & a long story but I hated them (sage & butter).  Something I DID do that was super cheap & effective was look at dresses in stores, write down the designers & styles and then ordered mine online (so naughty!).

-Jennifer, Missouri

 

 

I would have had a larger wedding.  We were given a generous budget by my parents, and chose to use part on a smaller wedding, and the other part to buy a new car.  I don’t remember a thing about the car now, but wish we would have had a larger wedding.

    -My Mother, Iowa

 

I would not have had my sister-in-law stand up with me.  She was a pain, hated the yellow dress, and complained the whole day. 

-”Don’t put my name on this”, Illinois

 

 

I wish I would have taken more time making some decisions. We got engaged on April 17th and got married on August 15th, so that literally left me with 4 months to plan a wedding!  A short engagement is definitely do-able but I wish I would have thought a little more about what I wanted certain things to look like. Don’t get me wrong, I am very happy with the way everything turned out, but if I would have had a little more time I would have probably chosen a few different things: I would have discussed (in details) with the florist what my bouquet was going to look like.  I would have gone over the final look of the cake before the wedding. It had too much ribbon and stuff on it, I would have liked it a little more simple (but it was delicious!) I would have liked more pictures done outside too.

    -Stefanie, Tennessee

 

 

 

If getting married in a facility where you have to use their food and beverage (unless you are tied to a sit-down meal), offering buffet style heavy hor’devours or food stations in a reception style, can many times be more economical than a plated meal.  If your reception time is “between meal times” –plan on approx. 4-6 pieces of food per person.  And…if you are tied to a plated meal….negotiate serving a lunch portion rather than dinner.  For hotels, the per person cost can be as much as half the cost for a lunch portion meal.

-Jill, Tennessee (also works in event planning)

 

No moonshine!

-Lisa, West Virginia

 

Things I wish I had done differently are researching/asking around more about my photographer and caterer. Wish I would have gotten a bigger venue. Wish I would’ve waited a couple more months to get married to we could have a little bit nicer wedding. Things I’m glad I did are starting and maintaining a binder with pictures of things I liked and ideas I got about decor, etc. Glad I stuck with the vision I had for the actual ceremony even though some people seemed to think it wouldn’t work. (It did work!) Wedding was January 2006.

          -Lauren, Kentucky

 

 

I would have never had an open bar.  The cost ended up being a LOT more than we had anticipated because we paid on a per-drink basis.  I felt like we were secretly looking around to see who was drinking a $15 glass of champagne.  We also had a few people “overindulge” and cause drama, which may have been avoided.

    -Nicole, Tennessee

 

 

Keep things about the two of you– My wedding was more my Mother’s than mine.

-Annonymous, Ohio

 

 

I would have asked my bridesmaids in a more creative way.  I would also recommend a venue that does not make you cater from them alone, but allows outside catering.  They get you with that!

-Lindsey, Tennessee

 

 

 

 

 

Hello again budget-savvy readers!

Lesley here, and I’m so excited to be back to share with you my WEDDING PHOTOS! Nate and I were married on New Year’s Eve, and we just got our pics back from the awesome Haaby Photography . I’m thrilled with the results! Most of our pictures were taken indoors with very little natural light, so I’m pleasantly surprised they came out as well as they did. Of course we did the standard formal shots for the parents and grandparents, but my favorites are definitely the kinda goofy and offbeat ones (which definitely suit our personalities!). Take a look!

Thanks again for letting me share my wedding story on BSB! It’s been such a pleasure walking through it all with you. If you’re new to BSB, you can check out my previous posts here where I’ve shared DIY projects, tutorials, photos, ideas, and my wedding budget. And you can always find my on my blog or Twitter if you’d like to stay in touch.

One final word to all you gorgeous brides-to-be before I sign off: savor every moment of the wedding planning process! I know it can be stressful, but trust me when I say it’ll be over before you know it. And you only get to marry the man of your dreams once! Take a deep breath and really appreciate the chaos, the emotions, the excitement, the uncertainty, and the butterflies.

Much love,

Mrs. Lesley (Denford) Myrick

This sweet wedding comes to us from Alfred and Emma Salom in California. The photographers said this about the wedding: “Hugo and Jessica had a classic, intimate wedding. Just under 100 guests filled the Stanford Memorial Church. The bride wore a simple dress from David’s Bridal, a necklace gifted from her soon-to-be mother in law, ballet flats, and a simple bouquet of flowers assembled by her sister, and maid of honor. Most of Hugo’s family flew in from Chile, as you can imagine, it was a very touching and heart warming ceremony. They had a potluck reception at the Stanford Graduate Community Center. Each family brought a dish and filled out a little information sheet about their dish. For the portrait session, they took us back to their dorms where Jess used to live and recreated their first kiss under paper lanterns and sunny skies.”

What was your budget?

We are both graduate students and wanted to plan and pay for our wedding ourselves, with minimal effort on our part. Our budget was roughly $6000 = $2000 for the church + $1500 for the photographers + $550 for the dress and tailoring and hair day of + $200 for the invitations + $800 for the catering and cake + $600 for the rings + $350 miscellaneous + free tux + potluck lunch + free reception site + lots of help from grad student friends

How many guests did you have?

About 100

What creative or personal aspects did you include in your wedding?

It was really important to us to include our family heavily in the ceremony. To that end, we had our brothers and sisters as attendants rather than traditional attendants (i.e., my brother and sister stood on my side; his brother and sister stood on his side). Both sets of parents escorted both of us down the aisle during the processional.

What was the biggest thing you did to save money?

Our reception was dirt cheap. We partially catered the lunch with a few lasagnas from an on-campus caterer, and ordered a large (but beautiful!) sheet cake from a local bakery. We reserved an on-campus multi-purpose room for the reception that came with tables and chairs (and a sound system). We didn’t do any decorating (no flowers!), and had our friends set up the room the morning of the wedding. The remainder of the lunch was a potluck affair, which was phenomenal since our friends represent many regions of the world. Rather than registering for wedding gifts, we asked our friends and family to pitch in on the big day (or donate charitably to the earthquake relief in Chile, since the groom is Chilean) – and many complied. We would not have had such a beautiful and successful day without the help of our friends and family!

What's the best advice you have for planning your wedding now that you're on the other side?

Don’t be afraid to ask friends and family for help. Our friends were thrilled to be a part of our wedding, and planning and paying for our wedding was very low-stress.

What was your biggest splurge?

The church. We met at Stanford as graduate students, so it was special to be able to hold our ceremony at the enormous historic church on campus. Plus, the church is ornately decorated and the walls are covered in mosaics and stained-glass windows, so no decoration was necessary (not to mention the enormous pipe organ!). The two line items of our wedding that we were unwilling to compromise were this church, and the photographers. We were very frugal with everything else, so that we could guarantee a beautiful venue and remarkable photographers to capture the day!

What was your favorite detail?

My sister made my bouquet as well as hers and my sister-in-law’s. She and my mom went to a local grocery store the day before the wedding and bought a few flowers (I think they spent $30 total). Granted, my sister has an artistic eye, but she did a wonderful job and the bouquets were a nice touch.

What is the most memorable moment of your day?

When the doors at the back of the church opened and the pipe organ started belting out “here comes the bride,” we knew that this was for real.

VENDORS:

photographers: Alfred and Emma Salom
dress: David’s Bridal
tuxedos: Men’s Wearhouse
cake: La Baguette
caterer: Ray’s Pub
hair: Angela at Rouge

{all photos by Alfred and Emma Salom}