Eric was a groomsman in a wedding last summer, and a month before the wedding the Bride mailed a physical copy of an itinerary to everyone.  When we arrived at the Iowa wedding weeks later, a lot of the wedding party appeared to even have theirs with them.  Me being me, I thought this was a great idea!

As part of my valiant attempt to stay organized, I’ve put together a ridiculous itinerary that’s been emailed to basically everyone.  With the bulk being from out of town, I broke things down by day & time (we have things spanning Thursday-Saturday), I also noted who needed to be there, the full address (for GPS) and a link to a Google map if the individual wanted to print one.  I noted separately any times for the usher, flower girls, etc., and even threw out a disclaimer/threat to any of the groomsmen who thought it necessary to “over-indulge” before ceremony time.  I made notes and instructions where I felt necessary, and I think I probably appear borderline psychotic to the outside world.  To offset this, I tried to add in a little humor and sarcasm (as expected) as to not come off as bossy (or cray-cray).   That’s really okay, as long as everyone is where they need to be, when they need to be.

One of my bridesmaids that got married in October suggested that I turn my cell phone OFF the day of the wedding.  She said she was unpleasantly surprised on the morning of their wedding when everyone under the sun was calling to ask ridiculous questions, most of which were clearly listed on the invitation itself.  She ended up buried alive with unnecessary details, and floored by the whole thing.  To try to help with this, I listed our wedding coordinator’s phone number and email address on our itinerary and asked that if anyone has trouble with details, to just please please call Jill instead of Eric or myself.   Fingers crossed that it actually works!

Next, to tackle logistics, and organizing the family helpers….

Cartoon & other useful itinerary info from: http://www.weddinggirl.ca/blog/weddingthemes/wedding-itinerary/

Adorable pictorial itinerary from: http://bridalmusings.com/gallery/2011/10/26/cute-illustrated-wedding-itinerary/

 

{photo by Henderson Photography}

It seems to be fairly normal for some brides to come into contact with a few little “differences” in preference from parents/family, or traditional vs. non-traditional ways to go about things. THANK GOODNESS we’ve barely run into any of this at all, maybe in part that our families both reside in Iowa, and we’re in Tennessee. We share plans with them and ask opinions sometimes, but they’re not actually here during the decision-making.

I ran into a potential area of conflict in deciding who should marry us. I’ve spent a lot of time in church in my life, but have not kept in touch with any ministers from growing up in Missouri (which is a 9 hour trip to TN anyway), and Eric really doesn’t have a preference. In Nashville I go to a huge church and don’t have a strong relationship with any ministers there either. One obstacle that we’ve been up against is time. The block of time that our venue is booked would be appropriate for dinner & a reception, but we’re fitting in our ceremony, dinner & reception. For each hour we add on, we pay an extra fee. We’ve already added on a little but would like to keep our ceremony short, because the longer it is, the less time we have for other things. I’ve been to some very long ceremonies at other weddings, as has Eric, and we’ve decided that that is not at all what we would like. I had thought about contacting the church and asking one of their ministers at random, but I have a hard time feeling appropriate in asking a minister to keep things super short, if they feel the need to do a full sermon (as I’ve heard some do).

I helped out with a wedding on Superbowl Sunday, and the couple had the SHORTEST ceremony ever, but the officiant still showed a little character– I loved it! The guy is a lawyer in town and used to perform many, many marriages at the courthouse. I was excited to potentially be on the track to crossing one more thing off of my list, and called to tell my Mom our progress. She didn’t seem so excited, wasn’t exactly “speaking her mind” because she said it wasn’t her place, but after an awkward pause told me that she’d always imagined a real minister marrying me.

Long story short, my mom has a close friend that’s a minister. I hadn’t really thought much about it before because I don’t actually know the person myself, but after a lot of thought, we’ve decided to have her marry us (plus she was already planning to make the trip for our wedding, which takes out the HUGE favor of asking someone to travel hundreds of miles). We felt comfortable enough to explain our need for a short ceremony, and everyone seems to be on the same page. My mom is very happy about it, and I’m glad to have crossed this off of the list… Now to find something else to panic about.

I am a planner. Completely and unapologetically so. I like sorting things out, making lists, and filing things. So one of the THE MOST exciting things about planning my wedding… has been that actual act of PLANNING my wedding (all those ideas and tutorials!). Here’s how I’m doing.

First up: The Binder

Within a few days of getting engaged, I had hit up my local bookstore for a wedding planner… and they were all found lacking. Either they were ridiculously over-the-top (ala planning the Royal Wedding) or they were HOT PINK. Anyhoo, I ended up finding a hot pink one that had great content on well-designed contemporary pages. So I bought that and then picked up a more modern looking binder from Target to make one. Check out how I ended up DIYing my own wedding planning binder.

Next: Magazine and Book Inspiration

I am a diehard reader so I naturally turned to the written word first for my wedding inspiration. For magazines, I was all over Martha Stewart Weddings, the Southern Living Weddings issue, and the Real Simple Wedding guide. I kept a little thing of sticky flags and a highlighter next to me and when I would find a great idea – I could highlight and/or flag it for reference later.

For books, I also really liked the Simply Stunning Weddings books and the Handmade Weddings book. Both had great ideas and DIY projects that were set up by theme or party style. Adore!

*I’m a part of several affiliate programs with companies that I enjoy and shop from on a regular basis. If you purchase one of these linked items, I will recieve a wee kickback as a thank you from the company. Thanks for understanding!

Last: Online Inspiration

 Three Words, y’all. Pinterest. Wedding Gawker. Between the two, I think I actually found the bulk of my wedding inspiration. I’ve pinned and favorited so many GREAT ideas from bloggers and craftpersons all over the Internet. I also love that I don’t have to lug around my wedding binder or flagged magazines all the time. If I’m trying to explain an idea to someone, 9 times out of 10 all I have to do is pull up Pinterest on my phone and show them an idea I’m working off of.

So, that’s my planning and inspiration ideas. What are y’all doing to find and organize yours?

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I have a confession to make.

I’m a bad bride.

Really.

I’m not good at it.

People at work (and other places) ask me all the time “How’s wedding planning going?” and I never have any answers for them. I kind-of assume that the appropriate answer to this question (similar to “how are you?”) is “Fine.” Because, if we’re being honest with each other, do you really want to know what flowers I am choosing (or not choosing) or how I’m struggling with finding shoes? I can’t imagine that anyone really cares.

Secondly, I don’t see this whole marriage thing as quite as life-altering as everyone makes it out to be. Sure, we have a huge [freakin’ AWESOME] party in a few months. It’s going to be a blast, and we are going to have a wonderful time with all of our friends and family. I love the man I am marrying and want to “make it official” with the support of the many important people in my life.

But I don’t think that party is going to magically transform our relationship. As far as I’m concerned, the marriage is already made; the wedding is a celebration of that fact. Too often, I think, people confuse the two.

I’m not all squealy and girly about the whole thing; the wedding isn’t something I talk about all the time. Part of it has to do with what I like to call “wedding fatigue.” When you’ve been engaged forEVER like we have, you kind of get tired of thinking about it. What was exciting in the beginning—a whole lot of idea generating and looking at pretty pictures—slowly morphs into actual to-do-list items, and nobody wants a longer to-do list.

And finally, I’m a bad bride because I’m also SO MANY OTHER things. My identity is not wrapped up in this one label, and I won’t think of myself much differently when I transition from “fiancee” to “wife.”

Perhaps I would be much more excited about the bride thing if it was all I had to worry about, but it’s not. The last couple of months have been rough, and I have had to fulfill so many other roles. Besides “bride/fiancee,” I am also (to name a few):

* A family member, and we lost someone from our [already small] family over the holidays.
* A professional, and I’ve been consciously focused on professional development. This has led to at-work and out-of-work commitments that take up my time.
* A mentor, and it’s important for me to be there for my students as they cope with uncertainties and make major transitions in their own lives.
* A friend, and in the last few months, I’ve had one [very close] friend move away and another go through a rough time. The latter needed my support a lot more than I needed to talk about things like accessories and decorations.
* An employee, and budgets have been virtually nonexistent lately. No additional staff means I’ve been the busiest I’ve ever been in my job, and, as someone who plans events for a living, I’m not always psyched about coming home to do the same.

My point in telling you all this is not to make you feel sorry for me, or to complain, or to vent (although I have done plenty of each of those things recently). My point is to say that, for all of the things that make me a bad bride, I would hope that those things also make me a better person. I think that my many facets make me more interesting. My ups and downs help me to better empathize with friends’ unhappiness and better celebrate the exciting times. I hope that for all I analyze and all that I am involved in, that I am more well-rounded, practical, articulate person.

For all that I may lack as a bride, I hope I make up for as a person. And when that bride goes away in a few months? What’s left is the wife—and woman—I’ll be for the rest of my life.

And isn’t she the one worth focusing on?

I don’t like cake. THERE! I said it!

Oh, don’t get me wrong. I like cheesecake, cupcakes, and chocolate but there’s just something about a big o’ slab of stale wedding cake with gum paste flowers that does nothing for my taste buds. So for The Boy and my wedding… NO CAKE FOR YOU!

Instead, we’ll be doing a dessert table (ala Amy Atlas) with mini fruit tarts, mini pecan pies, cupcakes, a few bowls of candy, fresh fruit, and cake bars. Yes, cake bars – courtesy of Blue Note Bakery in nearby Austin. It is, quite literally, a small bar of cake covered in honey fondant (actually VERY tasty!). Very simple and stylish, they stay fresher than a huge wedding cake and everyone gets to choose which flavor they would like they’re mini slice from (one is even “tie-dyed”  inside to match our wedding colors! Suck it, Martha!). Also, since we’re not having some big, complicated cake – we were able to save hundreds of dollars on a delivery charge by having a member of the wedding party pick it up that morning. SCORE!

Now, don’t stress, we will be having a small cake to slice for photos (and to signal the traditional “end” of the wedding reception/when guests feel comfortable leaving politely). I make a pretty killer yellow cake with cream cheese frosting that The Boy LOVES and specifically requested for “our” wedding cake. It’s small, only 6” round and about 9” tall so I can whip it up in less than 2 hours (start to finish) and most of that can be done days before.

So, The Boy will have this cake and eat it, too (Heh. Had to!).

Images Courtesy of: Just Wenderful, The TWIPS, and Design*Sponge.