No matter how long you plan or how simple you want your wedding to be, you will run into some bumps along the way. These issues I encountered mattered a lot to me at first. But now they seem like small pieces of what will be a great day, no matter what. Here are some of my Tips for Surviving The Inevitable Bumps of Wedding Planning:
I asked one of my good friends from childhood, the girl I considered my best friend, to be my bridesmaid. Her reaction wasn’t what I expected – she kept saying she wanted to do what made me happy but wasn’t really into it. When we went dress shopping she spent most of the time complaining about the price of a dress or that she couldn’t wear her favorite colors – navy blue or violet purple (our colors are orange, red, brown, and reddish-purple). I decided it wasn’t working and told her she shouldn’t feel obligated to be a maid if it wasn’t truly something she wanted to do. Yeah, it hurt that she wasn’t interested but overall it was a relief.
TIP: Don’t take things too personally. Each person has their own comfort level when it comes to being part of a wedding.
We’re in the midst of getting RSVPs in the mail with just a few days left until the deadline I gave. And… we have a little over 1/2 of them back. Frustrating? Extremely. We have to give our venue a fairly accurate count so that we don’t overpay for food or have to turn people away. So my fiancé and I will be spending next weekend getting in touch with our respective people who did not RSVP. I don’t expect this to be easy or fun since we’ll be putting people on the spot – and that’s if we can reach them. But we have to know.
TIP: Plan ahead for this as it WILL happen. If the venue needs your count by mid-month, ask for RSVPs at the beginning of the month to give yourself enough time to hunt down answers.
The fiancé and I went with a Saturday morning wedding because we love breakfast food but also to save some $$. This means we don’t have time to really do anything earlier in the day. For me that means hair and makeup needs to come to my house really early in the morning. I had been talking to someone who was willing to do that but just discovered she wouldn’t be bringing any supplies with her – her equipment stays at her salon. And I am utterly HOPELESS when it comes to makeup. Most days I just wear some powder foundation or go barefaced. So now with just over a month left I need to find someone else who can bring their own supplies, travel to me, and be willing to get everything done before 8am.
TIP: Be upfront about expectations with your vendors. Be realistic about what you can accomplish pre-wedding, especially if you are getting married early in the day.
Our venue provides their own catering and you are NOT allowed to being in any outside food or alcohol, besides a cake. That was a drawback when we choose the place but we stuck with them for several other reasons. Our options for alcohol are to pay for an open bar ($250 set-up free + $5 per drink) do a tray-passed toast of champagne for $3 per person or have a cash-bar set up for $250 and let people pay for their own drink. I’ve read in wedding magazines that cash bars are tacky and have heard several conflicting opinions about which route we should take. But the simple truth is that we can’t afford an open bar. I thought that giving people the option of getting a drink was better than denying them that choice. I don’t know what people will expect – I know the weddings I’ve been to have included an open bar. But they all took place at night and had a much smaller guest list than we do. I am confident that our guests will have a good time regardless.
TIP: Don’t focus on what people will think or what some wedding magazine or judgmental person tells you is expected. Do what is comfortable. Do what is in your budget.