You Can't Please Everyone
If you haven't seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding, you really should. It is such a fun movie in general, but it can also be very relateable for those of you who feel like you have little-to-no control over your wedding day. Toula's large, very Greek family chooses the bridesmaid dresses, invitations, venue, even her dress. And Toula, like many of us, would just like something more normal and a little simpler because you can't please everyone.
Brady and I have been extremely fortunate to have very supportive and understanding parents who love us, support us, and are happy to roll with our slightly-unique-yet-still-basically-traditional wedding. And we have a number of amazing friends and family who love us and support us and will listen to our ideas. However, once we announced our engagement, people began to impart their own wisdom and take things personally that really should not be such a big deal! There have been several moments when I've disappointed people by not wanting to wear a veil, choosing not to have programs, not inviting every distant relative who's names I don't know, choosing not to include all nine of Brady and my siblings to be bridesmaids and groomsmen and all of our cousins…I could go on.
We discussed eloping, and ever since Brady and I first discussed getting married I told him that I would be extremely happy to get married at the JP with our parents. But we want our marriage to be kicked off by celebrating with our friends and family, surrounded by the people we love the most. Although all of the different ways that people's feelings get hurt and opinions get thrown at us can be very frustrating, we are excited to celebrate our commitment and ultimately all of those details will not matter. If you want to wear a short wedding dress, do it! If you want to have your wedding out in a field, do it! If you want a long white wedding dress with sleeves and lace, do it! It's up to you. Not everyone will be pleased with every detail of your wedding, but those who love you will just be happy to be there and celebrate with you!
Remember that the day is supposed to focus on love, not just between you and your spouse, but your friends and family as well. The day should reflect you and your partner both as individuals, as a couple, and as a part of the community of people you surround yourself with.