Dealing with Guestzillas

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Because we’re only really close to a handful of people, we opted for a venue that had a limited capacity of 102, and mind you that’s without a dance floor and with some folks not sitting at tables (more here). We thought that with such a small venue, our friends and family would understand if we wouldn’t be able to invite everyone; and despite what many wedding websites and magazines have told us to brace ourselves for, we didn’t have anyone we didn’t intend on inviting ask about whether or not they would be able to come.

What we didn’t anticipate was how some of the folks on our guest list would be making demands- (aka they are being Guestzillas.) Our friends are generally pretty laid back, so we were really surprised when some of them were asking if we’d cater to their newest fad diet.

“I don’t eat carbs or dairy anymore. Will your menu accommodate that?”

Or if we’d have enough liquor…

“There will be an open bar, right? I’d like to get my drink on!”

And some of our friends who go through relationships the way I go through socks have been asking if they could bring a date aka their flavor of the week.

Choosing in season flowers for your wedding

I couldn’t believe it; a party that we were hosting to celebrate the fact that we’d just made a lifelong commitment to each other, an event that was really supposed to be about US, and our guests were worried about whether or not they would have THEIR needs catered to.

So what did we do when we were asked a question about menu, open bar, and plus ones? We decided to keep our answer consistent:

“If we can’t, would it prevent you from coming?”

This was all anyone needed for an answer, and every single time the response was the same:

“Of course not! I can’t wait to come to your wedding no matter what!”

With a limited budget, we knew that we wouldn’t be able to cater to everyone’s dietary, liquor and social needs. Our friends and family know that, so as of now we’re not faced with unwelcome plus ones and folks potentially complaining about our menu. So for all of you who are faced with guests who are not exactly acting graciously about their invite, how did you go about it?

Editor's note: Due to the pandemic, some of the general wedding planning advice we share may not be applicable or possible due to restrictions on events. Please adhere to all current regulations and stay safe and healthy! Get more resources for planning a pandemic wedding here

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