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choosing bridesmaids

My best friend in college got engaged just before we graduated. I remember how excited I was for her, and I remember how she squealed when she told me and held her hand out to show me the ring. Flash forward six months later: I had been in grad school for three months in a city almost two hours away. She told me she didn't want me to be her Maid of Honor because I was “too far away to help”.


After that moment, I swore I would NEVER be like that when I got engaged. Turns out, I didn't have much to worry about because that's not me at all (at least that's what my bridesmaids tell me). When choosing bridesmaids, I wanted to make absolutely sure I asked my besties who are true blue and who I could rely on throughout the whole process. Unfortunately, that meant sacrificing proximity…

choosing bridesmaids

Both of my bridesmaids live 5+ hours from me; however, I knew they'd be there when I needed them which would more than likely be when I was wigging out about (insert wedding task here). I don't need to be fussed over. I don't need a million parties for me. I don't even need them assisting with making centerpieces, etc. (Thankfully, my groom is THE BOMB about helping with wedding stuff.)

This whole experience led to a discussion with my best friend (and Maid of Honor Extraordinaire). None of us live in our hometowns. None of us live in the town we went to college. We live in completely different places, and I could probably count on one hand the friends I have where I live now. This is where we are in life right now. Bridesmaids used to be your sisters, your friends, the people you grew up with…and all were in your hometown, and you had the opportunity to throw parties and do wedding stuff together. Nowadays, it's not like that. We're just living life, but that doesn't mean the support we have for each other is any less.

I can't wait for them to stand by me in a few short weeks, and I am so blessed I have two people I can turn to with anything. So I am encouraging you, BSBs, to choose your ‘maids wisely…regardless of proximity.


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About Laura

Laura is a 26-year old school counselor living in Hendersonville, North Carolina. Laura is married to the love of her life Josh, whom she met online in February 2010. He proposed in a beautiful park on January 19, 2013, and they had an intimate and elegant wedding at an Asheville vineyard on April 26, 2014.

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  • Monique

    5 years ago, I would have wanted all the women I hung out with to be my bridesmaids. But now, as I plan my wedding, everything is very different. We have all grown apart and I have a new group of friends.
    At the end of the day, I chose my best friend to be my maid of honor and she will be my only bridesmaid. Throughout all my life events, she has been there, through and though.
    My wedding is not big or extravagant. I don’t even want all those pre-wedding parties. I just need my best friend to be by my side as I marry the man of my dreams.
    I totally agree with you.

  • Laura, I totally agree with you! The locations of my bridesmaids span several states, but I chose them regardless of considerations like proximity. They are all women I love whether we’re near or far, or what I think they can do for me. They’ve already given me the best gift possible-sisterhood.

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