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Stepdad Feels Disrespected Bride Chose Uncle as Father of the Bride. Is He Wrong?

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Choosing to include or not include certain family members in your wedding can lead to hurt feelings and drama. This stepdad feels hurt for being left out of his stepdaughter’s wedding. What’s your take?

Weddings are a celebration of love, unity, and family. But when a stepfather feels left out of the big day, it can be a source of hurt and disappointment. Recently, a man took to Reddit to express his frustrations about a problematic situation. For the sake of his story, we’ll call him Jake.

Looking After Rosie

Jake’s sister married his best friend, Jamie, and they had a daughter named Rosie. Unfortunately, Jamie was diagnosed with a heart condition and passed away while Rosie was only five years old.

Jake was close to Jamie, who he considered his brother, and he had asked him to look after Rosie and to be there for her in his place. Over the years, Jake grew close to Rosie and became her “uncle.” So she asked her uncle to assume the role of father of the bride at her wedding.

The Stepfather’s Reaction

However, the stepfather, who has been in Rosie’s life since she was six, was upset that the bride chose her uncle over him for the bride’s Father. He felt that Jake had prevented him from filling the father role and was disrespecting him by allowing her to talk about her biological Father so much.

The stepfather expressed his frustration to the uncle, calling him a jerk for denying Rosie another father. Despite the stepfather’s objections, Rosie stood by her decision to have her uncle play the role of the bride’s Father.

She stated she “couldn’t think of a living person she would rather have.” The uncle told Rosie that it wouldn’t change anything for him as long as she was happy with her decision. Here is how the internet responded.

Fulfilling a Promise to Her Deceased Father

Many in the thread acknowledged that the bride already has a father, and her stepfather is not her biological father. One commended Jake for playing such a significant role in the bride’s life and encouraged him to walk her down the aisle with pride, knowing that the bride’s father, Jake’s best friend, would be proud and smiling.

They further noted their promise to the bride’s father to look after her and believed he should take pride in fulfilling it.

Step-Parents Should Know to Put the Child’s Needs First

Several suggested that step-parents who feel frustrated with their step-child relationships tend to concentrate excessively on their view and neglect to recognize that a genuine parent always puts their child’s needs first.

Her Uncle Kept Her Dad’s Memory Alive

Others suggested that it is wrong for the bride’s sister and brother-in-law to attempt to erase the memory of her biological father. They further acknowledged that it is the bride’s choice who she wants to act as the Father of the Bride.

One emphasized that she has chosen her uncle because he has kept her biological father’s memory alive. The person encourages the uncle to fulfill their niece’s wish and let her father be present at the wedding.

Popular Reading: 63 Smart Wedding Budget Tips to Save Money on Your Big Day

The Step-Parent Should Accept It

Finally, one Redditor expressed their thoughts on step-parent relationships and their role in a child’s life. They believe it is essential for a step-parent to allow the child to determine the nature of their relationship and accept that the child may not view them as a parental figure.

They elaborated that trying to force the relationship will only make the child less likely to see the step-parent in that way and that if the relationship develops organically, it should be cherished. However, if it does not happen, the step-parent should accept it and not try to push it.

What do you think? Is this Redditor wrong for accepting the position of father of the bride despite her stepdad’s pleas for him to step down?


This article was inspired by the internet and does not necessarily reflect the views of The Budget Savvy Bride.