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{photo by Henderson Photography}

It seems to be fairly normal for some brides to come into contact with a few little “differences” in preference from parents/family, or traditional vs. non-traditional ways to go about things. THANK GOODNESS we’ve barely run into any of this at all, maybe in part that our families both reside in Iowa, and we’re in Tennessee. We share plans with them and ask opinions sometimes, but they’re not actually here during the decision-making.

I ran into a potential area of conflict in deciding who should marry us. I’ve spent a lot of time in church in my life, but have not kept in touch with any ministers from growing up in Missouri (which is a 9 hour trip to TN anyway), and Eric really doesn’t have a preference. In Nashville I go to a huge church and don’t have a strong relationship with any ministers there either. One obstacle that we’ve been up against is time. The block of time that our venue is booked would be appropriate for dinner & a reception, but we’re fitting in our ceremony, dinner & reception. For each hour we add on, we pay an extra fee. We’ve already added on a little but would like to keep our ceremony short, because the longer it is, the less time we have for other things. I’ve been to some very long ceremonies at other weddings, as has Eric, and we’ve decided that that is not at all what we would like. I had thought about contacting the church and asking one of their ministers at random, but I have a hard time feeling appropriate in asking a minister to keep things super short, if they feel the need to do a full sermon (as I’ve heard some do).

I helped out with a wedding on Superbowl Sunday, and the couple had the SHORTEST ceremony ever, but the officiant still showed a little character– I loved it! The guy is a lawyer in town and used to perform many, many marriages at the courthouse. I was excited to potentially be on the track to crossing one more thing off of my list, and called to tell my Mom our progress. She didn’t seem so excited, wasn’t exactly “speaking her mind” because she said it wasn’t her place, but after an awkward pause told me that she’d always imagined a real minister marrying me.

Long story short, my mom has a close friend that’s a minister. I hadn’t really thought much about it before because I don’t actually know the person myself, but after a lot of thought, we’ve decided to have her marry us (plus she was already planning to make the trip for our wedding, which takes out the HUGE favor of asking someone to travel hundreds of miles). We felt comfortable enough to explain our need for a short ceremony, and everyone seems to be on the same page. My mom is very happy about it, and I’m glad to have crossed this off of the list… Now to find something else to panic about.



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About Emily

Emily is a Nashville bride planning a rustic "barn" wedding on a $12k budget. She's a creative DIY'er and bargain hunter who enjoys music, golf, and her goldendoodle, Conway. Emily & her fiance Eric look forward to tying the knot in May, and throwing one big party full of wedded bliss afterwards.

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  • Sara C.

    I also am coming to grips with being married by someone I don’t know! We are 7 1/2 weeks out from the wedding, so it looks I may have to choose a professional wedding minister… I’m glad you decided on your Mom’s friend. It’s nice they have that connection, even if you don’t personally know them (yet).

  • Emily

    Thanks, Sara! I’m feeling good about it. Best of luck with your wedding!

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