We do put a lot of pressure on ourselves sometimes. We’ve been conditioned to believe that the average marriage proposal should be a venture of such ingenuity and craftiness that it’s an exercise in subterfuge worthy of MI:5.
Picture Tom Cruise in full Mission: Impossible regalia, dangling from the ceiling with a diamond ring clamped between those impossibly perfect teeth and you’ll have the measure of what many would-be grooms assume is expected of them. Yet, while a surprise proposal can be extremely romantic, non-traditional couples needn’t think that this is the only way in which they can make the proposal magical.
Indeed, a mutual proposal, where couples plan the proposal in advance and propose to one another in a spirit of mutual awareness, can be every bit as` magical. In fact, there are a number of benefits to a mutual proposal…
You can choose a ring together
It’s okay to admit it. If you begin to suspect that your significant other is about to pop the question, the matter of the ring can be a source of anxiety. It doesn’t matter how many subtle hints you’ve dropped in front of jeweler’s windows or how sure you are that your other half knows your ring size, there’ll always be that lurking sense of doubt (and, let’s be honest, dread) until you see the box open and the ring sparkle.
The great thing about mutual proposals is that you can go shopping for Diamond Engagement Rings together. This can help to build the sense of anticipation and fun and as a result…
It’s nowhere near as scary
Anyone who’s already popped the question can tell you that no matter how happy you are in your relationship or how secure you are in your love, proposing can be a really nerve wracking experience. Even the most assured lover can find themselves plagued by lingering questions like “What if it’s not the right place”, “What if it’s not the right time?” “What if I drop the ring?” and of course, “What if s/he says no?”.
Mutual proposals take the guesswork out of the equation. A lack of mystery needn’t necessitate a lack of romance. If anything it prolongs the romance! For example…
You can have fun planning a proposal getaway
Lots of people like to whisk away their significant other for a romantic city break before getting down on one knee. While it can be fun planning this on your own, it’s way more fun (and romantic) to plan it together. You can create a shortlist of places to get away, look at hotels together and plan an itinerary as well as picking out the perfect spot to ask one another that oh-so-important question.
You’re starting as you intend to go on
Throughout your married life you’ll be making important decisions together. By proposing together you’re starting as you intend to go on. You’ll get to pop the question to your bridesmaids and/or groomsmen together, and present a united front to the world from the get-go.
A mutual proposal may not be for everyone, but it certainly shows that you don’t have to eschew romance for mystery!
Editor’s note: During this time of quarantine and social distancing, some of the general wedding planning advice we share may not be applicable or possible due to restrictions on events. Please adhere to all current regulations and stay safe and healthy! Learn more here.