Why Every Engaged Couple Should Talk About Estate Planning Before the Wedding

Getting engaged is one of the most exciting seasons of your life. You’re picking out rings, planning proposals, dreaming about your future together. But here’s a conversation that almost never makes the Pinterest boards: estate planning.

We know, we know. It sounds like the least romantic thing in the world. But stick with us, because a survey from Trust & Will just dropped some eye-opening numbers that every couple planning a wedding seriously needs to hear.

Spoiler: love alone doesn’t protect the people you love most.

What Is Estate Planning, Anyway?

Before we dive into the data, let’s get everyone on the same page. Estate planning is the process of putting legal documents in place that protect you, your partner, and your assets if something unexpected happens. That includes:

A will, which determines how your assets are distributed after you pass away. A trust, which can help your loved ones avoid a lengthy and expensive court process called probate. A healthcare directive (also called a living will), which outlines your medical wishes if you can’t speak for yourself. An executor or trustee, who is the person you designate to carry out your wishes.

If none of those terms ring a bell, you’re not alone. The Trust & Will survey found that 50% of engaged couples admit they lack basic estate planning knowledge. That’s a big gap, especially when you’re about to legally commit your lives to each other.

The Engagement Paradox: High Intent, Low Action

Here’s where things get really interesting. Trust & Will surveyed 750 Americans across three groups: single, engaged, and married. And the findings for engaged couples tell a really telling story.

A full 38% of engaged respondents say getting married has motivated them to think about estate planning. That’s great! But only 12% of engaged couples actually have a will in place. That’s a 26-point gap between intention and action.

We see this so often in wedding planning too, don’t we? You want to stay on budget, but actually sitting down to build the spreadsheet feels overwhelming. You mean to book the florist early, but life gets busy. Estate planning falls into that same trap.

The survey found that 26% of engaged people feel overwhelmed by the whole thing, and many just don’t know where to start. But here’s what the data makes crystal clear: waiting until after the wedding (or after having kids, or after a health scare) means you’re already behind.

Why Getting Married Changes Everything Financially

Marriage is a legal partnership. When you say “I do,” you’re not just exchanging vows, you’re also intertwining your financial lives. And without the right documents in place, your partner may not have the legal authority to make decisions for you in a crisis, or to access your accounts, or to carry out your wishes.

The survey found that married individuals are nearly four times more likely to have a will than engaged couples (44% vs. 12%). That’s encouraging progress! But here’s the sobering flip side: 42% of married Americans still have no estate plan at all. Nearly half.

And among those who do eventually get around to it? 25% waited more than 10 years after getting married to create an estate plan. Only 10% created one within the first four years of marriage.

That’s a long time to leave your future to chance.

The Gender Gap Nobody Talks About

Here’s something the data revealed that we really want to highlight, because it directly affects so many of you.

Men are three times more likely to have a trust than women. Men are also significantly more likely to have documented an executor or trustee (36% vs. 23% of women). And women are 38% more likely to feel financially insecure than men.

Women in the survey were also more than twice as likely to not know what a healthcare directive is.

This matters. If you’re the partner who has been less involved in the financial conversations, now is the time to change that. Getting engaged is the perfect opportunity to get on the same page, together, so that both of you feel protected and empowered.

Younger Couples Are Actually Leading the Way (Mostly)

One bright spot in the data: Millennials show the highest future intent when it comes to estate planning. 40% plan to create an estate plan within the next five years, and they’re more likely to act earlier after marriage than previous generations.

Gen Z is also showing some surprising momentum. While overall adoption is lower among younger adults (only 18% of Gen Z have a will compared to 65% of the Silent Generation), they are more motivated by big life events like marriage, having children, and buying a home to get their affairs in order.

The tricky part? Gen Z also reports feeling most overwhelmed (32%) and most short on time (19%). Sound familiar?

Here’s the thing: estate planning platforms like Trust & Will have made this process significantly more accessible than it used to be. What once required multiple attorney appointments and hundreds of dollars can now be done online, in a matter of hours. The barrier is lower than you think.

What Happens If You Don’t Have an Estate Plan

We want to be real with you here, because this is important. Without an estate plan, your partner could face some really difficult situations at an already difficult time:

A lengthy and expensive probate process that ties up assets for months or even years. The inability to make critical medical decisions on your behalf if you’re incapacitated. Frozen financial accounts that your partner can’t access. Family disputes over who gets what. Potential tax complications that reduce what your loved ones inherit.

None of those things are things you want the person you love to deal with on their own.

The Peace of Mind Factor

Here’s something beautiful the survey found: the number one reason people create an estate plan is peace of mind. 52% of respondents cited it as their top motivation.

Not assets. Not avoiding taxes. Peace of mind.

When you think about it that way, estate planning isn’t a morbid task to check off a to-do list. It’s one of the most loving things you can do for the person you’re about to marry. It says: I’ve thought about every scenario, and I’ve made sure you’re taken care of.

That’s a pretty incredible wedding gift to give each other.

Where to Start (Without the Overwhelm)

If you’re feeling ready to take action, here’s how to approach this without getting overwhelmed.

Start with a conversation. Before you research any platforms or attorneys, talk with your partner about your wishes. Who would you want making medical decisions for you? Who should handle your estate? Do you have dependents or plan to in the future?

Learn the basics. You don’t need to be an expert, but understanding what a will, trust, healthcare directive, and executor actually do will help you feel more confident. Trust & Will has a ton of free educational resources at their website that make this easy to understand.

Look into digital platforms. Services like Trust & Will let you create legally valid, attorney-reviewed estate planning documents online, often for a fraction of what traditional attorneys charge. That’s the kind of savvy money move we love to see.

Add it to your wedding planning timeline. Just like you’d block time for venue tours or cake tastings, block an afternoon to work through this together. It doesn’t have to take long, and you’ll feel so much better when it’s done.

Review and update after the wedding. Once you’re officially married, update your beneficiary designations on any insurance policies, retirement accounts, and bank accounts. This is a step many couples miss, and it matters.

You’re Planning for Your Forever, So Plan All of It

At B$B, we talk a lot about making savvy decisions that align with your values and set you up for a great future together. And there’s no decision more aligned with that mission than making sure the person you’re marrying is legally and financially protected from day one.

The wedding is just the beginning. What comes after, the life you build together, is the real gift. Make sure it’s protected.

To learn more about estate planning and explore your options, visit Trust & Will to read the full survey and get started on your estate plan.

This article contains information from a Trust & Will survey of 750 Americans conducted in 2025. Statistics cited are drawn from that research. This article is informational and should not be considered legal or financial advice. We encourage you to consult with a qualified attorney or financial advisor for guidance specific to your situation.