The Ultimate Pre-Marital Money Challenge for Engaged Couples!

Happy engagement! If you’re already thinking of attending upcoming wedding expos like The Bridal Extravaganza in downtown Houston, looking at ideas for dresses on Pinterest, and googling things like “how much does a wedding cake cost?” — you’re in the right place.

Before you jump into planning feet-first or start sampling cake, this challenge is the ultimate step-by-step to help you take a deep breath and limit the stress of wedding budget discussions for you, your partner, and your family.

The 5-day Ultimate Stress-Busting Pre-Marital Money Challenge

Values Clarification Activity
Clarifying your personal values and the values shared with your partner
Financial Well-Being Quiz
Learning about the psychology of money and reflect on your personal financial wellness
Wedding Budget Activity
Crunching your wedding budget numbers and discussing wants vs. needs between partners
Wedding Vision & Priorities Activity
Incorporating your values in your wedding planning and budget must-haves
Financial Partnership Pledge
Discussing your financial wellness quiz results, defining and committing to a joint financial goal post-wedding

Join the Pre-Marital Money Challenge in our free community!

Join us in the community for a LIVE Pre-Marital Money Challenge on April 26th and stick around for wedding planning support!

Join the Challenge!

1 • Clarifying your values

What are values? Put simply, these are the things you care about most in life.

These are different for each person and relationship. Common examples include environmental conservation, philanthropy, spirituality, volunteering, spending time in nature, scientific discovery, experiencing new cultures, and spending time with pets.

Not sure where to start? Curious what others picked as their values?

Research shows that spending time and money in alignment with your core personal values increases “life satisfaction” (happiness). Reflecting on what you value most is a great place to kick off our challenge because it sets you up for a focus on prioritizing what makes you and your partner feel fulfilled.

2 • Your financial well-being

Money is Americans’ #1 source of stress and, according to science, can break down intimacy in relationships by eroding each partner’s mental health. Why? Because money is emotional.

For day 2, let’s get your thoughts on your finances organized using this free quiz by the CFPB.

Take the Quiz!

These questions can be more difficult to quantify than the dollar amount in your 401K or monthly student loan payment amount. But, attitudes, habits, and histories with money have a monumental influence on how we react to financial stressors and supports. Because this tool is geared toward quantifying sentiment more than dollars and cents, it helps with reaching a deeper layer of the iceberg that’s sometimes hard to see.

We’ll come back to these quiz results on day 5!

3 • Setting your wedding budget

Day three and it’s time to start looking at numbers. Remember, you’ve got clarity on your financial well-being and values. You’re ready to think about how much to spend, on what, and how it will make you feel after the big day.

There are a ton of worksheets, excel templates, and more that can help you estimate what items might cost by region. Take a look at the real weddings other Budget Savvy couples have shared.

Habits that can strengthen your relationship when discussing money:

Listening, validating feeling
Asking open-ended question
Judgment-free attitude
Stress mgmt/coping activities — for example, taking breaks

4 • Your wedding vision and priorities

Without priorities, budgets can quickly stretch into a maze of overspending. Being intentional about spending can dramatically reduce in-the-moment stress related to decision-making.

Do you want to splurge on photography? Food? Your attire? There’s no right or wrong answer, but barring an unlimited budget, you’ll probably have to pick where to spend versus save in terms of the various line items in your wedding budget breakdown.

The really cool thing about this activity is that you’re literally talking about your dreams and one of the most special days of your life. That’s a perfect precursor to the activities on day 5!

5 • Pledging your (financial) partnership to one another

Remember the quiz from day 2? It covered topics you may already be comfortable discussing with your partner. Or maybe you’re new to talking about money together. Either way, the important thing to remember is that your core values, concerns, hopes, dreams, and unified financial goals are all tied to ongoing teamwork based on trust and healthy relationship habits.

Following the wedding, the real work of marriage begins. It’s helpful to know that how we react to our partners’ financial stressors can sustain, strengthen, or weaken our relationships. Financial stress is harmful to relationship functioning and satisfaction due to greater negative interactions (arguing, stonewalling) and less positive interactions (affection, support). Emotion plays a big role in our financial behaviors as money is symbolic of how we feel or want to feel; self-image; security; trust; and, of course, fear.

In other words, managing financial stress and achieving joint financial goals takes an ongoing commitment. The good news is that our relationships pack a turbo-charged punch of help. Relationships are a potent tonic for soothing stress.

We want to help you set solid foundations for your marriage during this time, to set yourselves up for financial and marital success! Be sure to join us for a Five Day Pre-Marital Money Challenge to get yourselves on track!