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Oh my dears,

I had a frustrating day working on wedding decor projects last week – things just weren't turning out as I envisioned them to. After hours of working on something and then having to re-do it because I wasn't satisfied with the result, I had wasted an entire day and accomplished nothing. Nothing! I was tired, irritated, and so mad at myself for not being talented enough to make something that would stun my wedding guests with its awesomeness. I was so consumed with what others would think that about my crafty skills that I was making myself miserable when I couldn't live up to my own unrealistic standards.

Wedding vs. Marriage[This is kind of how I felt. Like just collapsing dejectedly on the floor. Image via We Heart It]

That night, I spent some time thinking and praying. And I realized…I've spent so much time and energy preparing for the wedding – what about preparing for the marriage? Yes, we're doing pre-marital counselling and all that, but what about really spending my time and energy working on learning how to be a great wife, instead of obsessing over centerpieces? What about learning how to love and appreciate my fiance better, instead of re-painting another photo frame because I can't decide what color it should be? Sure, the little details in a wedding are great, and they make the day extra-special and make the photographs look perfect. But I'm not perfect. And neither is Nate! And in the long run, what's more valuable to me – knowing that on one day in my life someone admired my hand-lettered signs, or knowing that my marriage is thriving because we've taken the time to completely invest in each other?

Wedding vs. Marriage[Image via We Heart It]

Weddings are wonderful celebrations. But if the one-day event begins to overshadow the reason for getting married in the first place, it's time to step back and re-evaluate your priorities. Nothing is more important to me than my fiance. Nothing is worth my time more than he is (well, except for God, naturally). And if my handmade dessert platters or bridal party bouquets don't turn out perfectly, well, you'll just have to deal with it – because I'll be too busy loving, supporting, and caring for the man of my dreams.

Much love,

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  • Abbey

    Great post! I myself have to keep this in mind while planning. I tend to get stressed and forget what I should be focusing on. Thanks for the reminder!

  • Susan

    well said.

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  • sarah

    Excellent thoughts, Lesley. I'm a perfectionist and an obsessive organizer. My fiance asked me one day, "If you order flowers online and they don't show up in time or look bad, will you still marry me?" "Yes." "If we end up having to use ugly mismatched folding chairs, will you still marry me?" "Yes." "If everything doesn't turn out exactly the way you imagined and planned, will you still marry?" "Yes." Then he reminded me of the great advice a friend had given me about the wedding day: "Something will inevitably go wrong. All that really matters is that at the end of the day the two of you are married." That made such a difference in me that my bridesmaids commented on how uncharacteristicly carefree and unpicky I was when shopping for dresses and shoes, and when I talked to my cake lady yesterday she stated that I obviously had everything under control and wasn't stressing. =D

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  • Dori

    Wonderful words of encouragement!

  • savvybride

    Great post! definitely good to keep things in perspective.

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