Since I am very much in the throes of anxiety-ridden wedding awfulness, I want to take the opportunity to break down what I am worrying about, and what I have decided to let go. After the wedding, I’ll look back and share my experience about what was worth worrying about, and what was not. Here's my list of wedding worries:
Worry Numero Uno: Logistics!!!
Since Tim and I are getting married in a park, we have to make a plan for EVERYTHING–what we are bringing in, who is bringing it, who is setting up, making sure there are enough tables and chairs, bringing in a music source, and doing everything within the window of time on our permit. So far, my answer to this is a lot of lists (which are incomplete right now) and relying on friends who will probably disown us after this is all said and done. So far, my main advice is to listen to your kind friends when they say they will help, because you can’t do it all alone. People want to help–let them (I am still working on following this advice).
Worry Number Two: Will People Have Fun?
Tim and I aren’t big dancers, but we know that other people like to dance. We are going to have a mix of lawn games and music that people can dance to, but I’m still worried that people will be bored. All we can do to try to alleviate these worries is have plenty of beer and wine, have the games and the music, and hope that people will enjoy what we’ve brought.
Worry Number Three: Will we have nice weather?
Aside from occasional rain dances and obsessively checking the Weather Channel, there is not a whole lot we can do if a hurricane decides to show up for our wedding. We’ll huddle on the porch and drink all the wine and beer! But that doesn’t stop me from worrying about it, since I so badly want to be able to play our lawn games and stand in the sunshine.
Now onto the other side of the list…
I am trying NOT to worry about:
1) How I’ll look
I have a dress (a friend was kind enough to do alterations for us), I have appointments for hair and makeup, and even though I wasn’t crazy about my trial hair and my skin broke out after my wedding makeup, my test look was Tim- and mom-approved, so I’ve opted to trust them and let it go.
2) How the wedding will look
When I look back on my memories of weddings I’ve attended, I do not really remember the decorations. I am glad that Tim and I made everything that we made, but I am not going to worry about everything looking perfect on the day of. The venue is pretty, and the decorations are not why people are there.
3) All the little things that we are opting not to do, but some people still expect
Tim and I are skipping many wedding traditions, including the bouquet toss, first dance (any organized dances, actually), a traditional bridal party, bachelor and bachelorette parties, and the list goes on. I know that we will not miss any of this even a little bit, but I know some people wait for them to happen at weddings. Hopefully no one will really mind and will just enjoy themselves.
Over the course of the wedding planning process, we have learned that planning is SO MUCH LESS FUN than pretending to plan a wedding (aka Pinterest). I am so excited to marry Tim, and I am sure that our wedding will be wonderful, but I am definitely not an event planner. Even small weddings in a public park consist of about a million tiny decisions. If you and your partner can make it through planning your wedding, you deserve to get married.
Editor's note: Due to the pandemic, some of the general wedding planning advice we share may not be applicable or possible due to restrictions on events. Please adhere to all current regulations and stay safe and healthy! Get more resources for planning a pandemic wedding here.