When it comes to planning a wedding, we invest so much time and attention to all the details about that day. We obsess over a dress, and the perfect shoes to match. Then we drive ourselves crazy over party attire, centerpieces, bouquets and boutonnières. It’s a riot (a fabulous one, but a riot nonetheless). Sometimes we lose sight of what’s really important about that day; the fact that two people have decided to commit their lives to each other. It seems there’s more focus on our weddings and not on our marriages .
The initial phases of wedding planning can allow for some valuable first lessons; especially when it comes to finances. We’ve all heard the rules. Rule 1, set a budget. Rule 2, stick to the budget. Rule 3, no seriously, stick to the budget. Rule 4, disregard rules 1-3, this is YOUR day, YOLO, bro! (You Only Live Once).
Some of us are wise enough to heed those early financial lessons, and know when to downsize or gracefully cut lists. I think those people understand the importance of not beginning a marriage in debt. Then there’s the rest of us who forge on with the weddings of our dreams; debt be darned, that’s what wedding gift$ are for.
Kyle and I had a serious discussion regarding our wedding budget, and have realized that it would be best to postpone our wedding.
Coming to this decision was not easy for me. After almost 6 months of planning, and with less than 5 months left, I couldn’t let go so easily. My reason being because it’d feel like all the hard work that I’d done was being thrown away. Though, I tried to go over our budget and see what we could cut in order to keep costs below 10k. After all, I don’t need a wedding band next year, that’s what most brides are doing any way. I also thought about severely cutting our guest list, but that was out of the question too.
Then I listened to Kyle’s point of view. We’re saving all of our money for one day, and not our life. This would leave us with not enough in savings to sustain us should an emergency happen, or a job lost occurs. That made him feel uncomfortable, and as Suze Orman would say, powerlessness repels money. As much as I fought it, and as sad as it made me, I ultimately agreed to postpone the wedding. In the end, Kyle’s right, we need to build our savings up to a comfortable level, then continue saving up for the wedding.
So what’s next?
Well, I’ve informed my wedding planners of the situation, and they’re helping me in informing the rest of the wedding team. Even as I sit here writing this, my heart sinks a little. I’m sure vendors deal with situations like mine all the time, but I honestly didn’t want to be here, you know?
I have to say, Kyle really wants to me marry me, like yesterday! He’s ready to go to city hall and make an honest lady out of me. His priority is the marriage (and I’m so ashamed to say that 50% of my priority are about the wedding day). But I can’t think about that now, I’ll worry about it tomorrow. The bright side is that now I have more time to for planning and DIY projects!
BSB family, have any of you had to postpone your wedding? If so, why, and how did it make you feel?
Until next time,