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When it comes to planning a wedding, we invest so much time and attention to all the details about that day. We obsess over a dress, and the perfect shoes to match. Then we drive ourselves crazy over party attire, centerpieces, bouquets and boutonnières.  It’s a riot (a fabulous one, but a riot nonetheless). Sometimes we lose sight of what’s really important about that day; the fact that two people have decided to commit their lives to each other. It seems there’s more focus on our weddings and not on our marriages 😥 .

The initial phases of wedding planning can allow for some valuable first lessons; especially when it comes to finances. We’ve all heard the rules. Rule 1, set a budget. Rule 2, stick to the budget.  Rule 3, no seriously, stick to the budget. Rule 4, disregard rules 1-3, this is YOUR day, YOLO, bro! (You Only Live Once).

Some of us are wise enough to heed those early financial lessons, and know when to downsize or gracefully cut lists. I think those people understand the importance of not beginning a marriage in debt. Then there’s the rest of us who forge on with the weddings of our dreams; debt be darned, that’s what wedding gift$ are for.

Kyle and I had a serious discussion regarding our wedding budget, and have realized that it would be best to postpone our wedding.

Coming to this decision was not easy for me. After almost 6 months of planning, and with less than 5 months left, I couldn’t let go so easily. My reason being because it’d feel like all the hard work that I’d done was being thrown away. Though, I tried to go over our budget and see what we could cut in order to keep costs below 10k. After all, I don’t need a wedding band next year, that’s what most brides are doing any way. I also thought about severely cutting our guest list, but that was out of the question too.

Then I listened to Kyle’s point of view. We’re saving all of our money for one day, and not our life. This would leave us with not enough in savings to sustain us should an emergency happen, or a job lost occurs. That made him feel uncomfortable, and as Suze Orman would say, powerlessness repels money.  As much as I fought it, and as sad as it made me, I ultimately agreed to postpone the wedding. In the end, Kyle’s right, we need to build our savings up to a comfortable level, then continue saving up for the wedding.

So what’s next?

Well, I’ve informed my wedding planners of the situation, and they’re helping me in informing the rest of the wedding team. Even as I sit here writing this, my heart sinks a little. I’m sure vendors deal with situations like mine all the time, but I honestly didn’t want to be here, you know?

I have to say, Kyle really wants to me marry me, like yesterday! He’s ready to go to city hall and make an honest lady out of me. His priority is the marriage (and I’m so ashamed to say that 50% of my priority are about the wedding day). But I can’t think about that now, I’ll worry about it tomorrow. The bright side is that now I have more time to for planning and DIY projects!

BSB family, have any of you had to postpone your wedding? If so, why, and how did it make you feel?

Until next time,


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About Renae

I'm a 25-year old bubbly bride-to-be! I work in advertising in New York City, and am marrying my high school sweetheart and best friend, Kyle, on April 12, 2014!

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  • As difficult as it was, you made the right decision. When my fiance and I got engaged I held strong to the idea that we will not go in debt over one day/wedding. That’s what the marriage is for!

    In all seriousness, after a price college education the both us were in enough debt as it is. That’s why we opted to get married in April 2013 rather than August 2012 as originally discussed. I think it’s the best decision we ever med. If pushing the wedding back means being financially sound and even more in love, I’m all for it.

  • You are doing the big girl thing. Rock on. May your love strengthen from this experience. 🙂

  • Denise

    I got tempted to push back our wedding 2 months after sending out the Save the Dates! Only we were well within budget, had no issues sticking to it, and had no actual reason to push it back. Just cold feet, but I understand what it feels like to want to push back a wedding.

    Smart call though, not spending all your savings on a wedding.

  • Renae

    Yes, it was hard to make this call, but it’s best for us in the long run. And you all are right, it’s not worth going into debt over 1 day! Thanks ya’ll!

  • Your post blessed me. My fiance and I just made the decision to postpone our wedding. We were planning to wed July 6th, 2013. Now we are moving the wedding date to June 2014. On New Years Eve, my parents pulled out from helping us with the wedding. Long story short, they were never supportive of us getting married. My fiance is a recent brain cancer survivor, who finished school last year and now back working for an amazing company. My fiance proposed on Valentine’s Day last year. They were not happy at all. Simply because he is divorced and has a son. On Christmas, they infkrmed my fiancee that they would pay for our reception. A week later, they’ve decided to no longer help. Devastated, I felt that we would not be able to be financially prepared, especially without the financial assistance from my parents. We decided that we will focus on saving and move our date to next year rather than straining our minds, hearts, and pockets. I thank you for writing your post. I felt embarassed. But now I am excited that I may have my dream wedding and marriage after all.

    Thank you so much. 🙂


    • I just got goosebumps and a tear in my eye reading your comment! I am so glad that you found this post and that it has helped you feel a little less alone in this sticky situation. Wishing you happiness and blessings in the year to come! xoxo Jessica

    • Hi Tammy! It’s great to know that my post was a blessing to you. I know how devastating and embarrassing it feels to have to postpone a wedding by 1 year. But the peace in mind you receive from not stressing about how to pay for the wedding now, and not starting your marriage in debt, makes it worth it!
      You’re welcome!

  • Michelle

    Fiance and I just decided to postpone our wedding. It came as family started getting upset about who is and is not invited (although I haven’t spoken to most of them in years and they have never met my fiance). Also financial constraints on both our sides and my parents were going to help pay for the wedding. We know a lot of people and the original guest list was 180, cut down to 115. It didn’t feel right and we still have to break the news to everyone. It was still 8 months to go, but the uneasiness it created between family and friends just wasn’t what we expected and broke our hearts. The venue was beautiful, but too expensive. The photographer was perfect but too expensive. Having to cut our guest list was heartbreaking.. Making that final decision to postpone indefinitely until we have enough financial security to pay for it ourselves, was gut-wrenching. But in the end we made the decision together and I feel more relaxed, more in love and excited for when we start the process again. We spoke to level headed people about our decision and some say, ‘go for it’ it is YOUR day! Don’t worry about what other people want, others said why throw a lavish celebration if you can use that money as a deposit on a car, BUY a car or deposit on a house. In the end, we both decided to step back and reevaluate the situation. That a ring on my finger could result in such an uncomfortable experience :(. In the end, a wedding consists of two things – the Marriage & the Celebration. We are deciding to focus more on the Marriage part for now. There is no rush 🙂

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