Maid of Honor vs. Matron of Honor

You’ve been proposed to and now you’re about to propose to your gal pals and ask them to be in your wedding party! But who does what? And is there a difference between maid of honor and matron of honor? Do you have to have both in your wedding party? What if you only have one, is that okay? We know you all have questions that’s why we broke it all down in this article so you can pick your wedding party with confidence!

Understanding Maid of Honor and Matron of Honor

What is a matron of honor? What’s a maid of honor? What is a moh? It’s pretty simple. The matron of honor is a married woman serving as the chief attendant to the bride. And a Maid of Honor is an unmarried woman serving as chief attendant to the bride. It’s the female version of the best man. But since it’s 2024 and you aren’t confined to the rules of gender roles or titles based on a specific relationship status, you can call this role whatever you would like.

You and your groom can have a man of honor, or a best woman, or ask your best friends to be in your wedding party without titles like groomsmen, bridesmaids, or mohs. There is no real matron vs maid of honor but rather matron and/or maid of honor based on their marital status. So, to simplify it, a matron of honor is a married maid of honor!

Differences Between Maid and Matron of Honor

The key distinction between the roles of maid of honor and matron of honor is the significance of marital status. When a bride has a matron vs maid of honor in the wedding party it is because of marital status only. The bride’s sibling or close family member is married therefore the title is the matron of honor or her best friend or close friend is single and would be listed in the program as maid of honor. These family members and friends stand with the bridal party during the wedding ceremony by the bride’s side. There is no difference in either other than the maid of honor meaning unmarried, and matron of honor meaning married.

Sometimes a bride can have two honor attendants. She can choose a maid of honor and a matron of honor or multiple maids of honor or matrons of honor. The ultimate goal of the bride’s honor attendant is to have someone you can trust to be by your side on your wedding day who can keep you calm, cool, and collected for your special day. Whether that’s someone who has or hasn’t already had a wedding doesn’t matter!

Duties and Responsibilities

Does someone who has already walked down the aisle affect the responsibilities and duties of a maid or matron of honor? Yes and no. I think a maid or matron of honor can perform the roles of the bride’s honor attendant no matter if they have had a wedding day, however, the insight given into the wedding plans, bachelorette party, bridal shower, etc may be easier for someone who has had their own wedding.

So what are the duties of the maid of honor or matron of honor? According to the etiquette queen herself, Emily Post, these are the traditional matron or maid of honor duties and responsibilities.

Maid of Honor Duties / Matron of Honor Duties

Helps the bride pick out the bridesmaids’ dresses and attends wedding dress shopping
Helps the rest of the bridal party choose a wedding gift for the bride
Make sure the bridesmaids have their wedding day outfit
Holds the groom’s wedding ring and the bride’s bouquet during the ceremony (unless the couple wants the flower girls or ring bearers to have this task.)
Is a witness for the signing of the marriage certificate
Assists the wedding planner (if there is one) with the guests at the wedding reception for activities such as dancing, bouquet toss, cake cutting, grand exit, and other festivities
Makes sure the bride is ready and changed into her going away outfit and coordinates with family or friends after the reception about the wedding dress
Optional duties may include helping the bride with DIY projects, addressing invitations, hosting pre-wedding parties & showers, giving a speech at the rehearsal dinner, touching up the bride’s makeup, and fixing the bride’s train at the altar.

When thinking about the maid of honor vs bridesmaids, the duties listed above usually make the difference. Of course, any helpful friend, family member, or someone in the wedding party can pitch in and help make the wedding day run smoothly!

Can You Have Both a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor?

If you are having difficulty deciding between having a maid and matron of honor, don’t! That’s right, you can have both! There is no hard or fast rule saying you must choose one. If you have a sibling, best friend, sorority sister, cousin, or mentor that means a lot to you included in your wedding party along with another special honor attendant then ask them both! It’s a great way to incorporate both people in your life and bestow the honor of having them front and center on your wedding day. They already hold a special place in your heart, why not extend that to a big milestone in your life?

You have the best of both worlds when you have a maid and matron of honor. You have the expertise of someone who has already been in your shoes and gone through the joy and chaos of wedding planning. And you have someone eager to help and giddy with excitement of walking the journey with you for the first time, seeing it with fresh eyes. Additionally, they can work together and share or split up some of the responsibilities.

Maid of Honor Meaning and Expectations

Another important expectation of the MOH would be the ability to delegate other tasks to those in your bridal party. Depending on the bride’s needs it’s so nice to have someone to step in and say, “What can I do?” This is a huge help in the throes of wedding planning and stress. Knowing you could call your maid or matron of honor and ask them to follow up with a vendor or rally the bridal party for an invitation addressing party just alleviates the stress of carrying the load all on your shoulders.

Bridesmaid vs Maid of Honor

The similarities overlap when it comes to bridesmaids vs maids or matrons of honor. The number one role and duty everyone in the wedding party is expected to do is to be supportive of the couple and stand witness to their love on their wedding day. The true differences are just that the maid or matron of honor goes above and beyond in the assistance of the wedding planning with the bride.

She or he will take a bigger role in assisting with the decision-making for wedding attire (ie, bridesmaid dresses), planning any pre-wedding events such as parties or showers, organizing the bachelorette party, acting as a liaison between the bride and the bridesmaids, assisting during the wedding weekend including prewedding, during wedding and post wedding! It’s a bigger leadership role but it’s what friends do for each other!

Conclusion

In summary, the key difference between a Maid of Honor and a Matron of Honor lies in their marital status, with the former being unmarried and the latter married. However, their roles and responsibilities are essentially the same, focusing on supporting the bride and ensuring the wedding celebration runs smoothly. When choosing between a Maid and a Matron of Honor, consider your relationships and who you feel is best suited to help you during this special time. Whether you decide to have one, both, or even a combination of honor attendants, the most important factor is having someone you trust and cherish by your side on your big day.

Join us in our community to talk matron of honor vs maid of honor!