Post-Wedding Depression: Combatting Post-Wedding Blues
Whether you’re post-wedding or in the midst of pandemic wedding planning, you might find yourself feeling the blues. Check out this post for suggestions to work through your feelings.
Has your wedding day come and gone? Whether or not it was exactly how you envisioned, you might be feeling some post-wedding depression. Learn how to combat them below.
Have you ever spent months, if not the better part of a year or more, planning a vacation? Perhaps a long-awaited beach getaway with your partner or a trip to the mountains with your family. There are phone calls and emails, and research to find fun things to do and places to eat. Plus, time spent planning how you will spend each day and night. Then, there’s the countdown until the day you leave arrives, followed by the joy of *finally* experiencing the trip you’ve planned. By the end of your trip, you will have plenty of great memories. But, you might also feel a newfound emptiness mixed with sadness that your vacation is ending. Because… what happens now?
The end of your wedding can feel the exact same way… only even more heightened.
We love weddings, but we do our best to encourage couples to place their focus more on their marriage than the party. The life you and your partner will share together after the big day deserves more attention, intention, and effort than a single day of celebration. Placing the emphasis and focus on the marriage, rather than the wedding, will help stave off some of those post-wedding blues.
Your wedding day is a singular moment in time. Albeit, one that is completely focused on the joy of your relationship (and those you share with friends and family). To top it off, the wedding is typically followed by a honeymoon trip you’ve been looking forward to for ages. It’s a definite life highlight, so it’s no wonder that so many couples feel a bit let-down after the big day.
How to Avoid the Post-Wedding Blues
A lot goes into planning a wedding– then, like a vacation, it ends– and that ending can feel abrupt! When you put so much time, energy, and effort into planning something that is so monumental, it’s no surprise that you might be feeling a little empty and unsure of what to do with your time once it’s over.
So, what now? After you’ve finished your newlywed checklist, what do you do if you’re experiencing post-wedding depression or the post-wedding blues? Let’s talk about it.
Take Inventory of Your Feelings:
First, know that it’s totally normal to feel a bit let down after the end of such an exciting period of your life. Ask yourself if you are just mourning the end of something or are you truly struggling with the basic functions of daily life? Are you truly feeling depressed or are you just bored? Do you have creative juices with no outlet to unleash them? Take some time to journal out what you’re feeling. Explore your emotions and try to get to the root of what is causing them. If you’re feeling like something really isn’t right, you may want to consider seeking outside support.
If you’re having days and weeks in a row where you are feeling down and not yourself, it might be worth seeking counseling. Perhaps that looks like counseling you and your partner do together, or it might look like sessions with a therapist on your own. The important thing to note is there is a difference between feeling sad something great has ended and being thrown into the depths of depression. The best way to learn the difference is by seeking professional help if you feel you need it. (Try BetterHelp and get 1 week of counseling free!)
As you’re adjusting back into life after your wedding, think about examining the sadness that you feel. Sometimes the emotions we experience have deeper ties, and they’re worth delving into. You may have loved spending so much time with family if you live far away from home. You might be feeling a pull toward a new career or even a desire to move. While we don’t recommend making any rash decisions, it’s worth it to explore changes you may be able to make in your life in order to keep that wedding happiness alive in new ways.
Find a New Creative Outlet
Many brides find themselves with extra time and empty space once their wedding is behind them. You may have discovered (or rediscovered) a love for creativity throughout your wedding planning process. Consider starting a new hobby or finding another creative outlet to fill your time and channel your creative energy. Whether it’s decorating your new home, learning a new artistic skill, or even starting a side hustle, having something creative to fill your time is fulfilling and will bring some excitement to your free time. Heck, even if your wedding day is over, join our community and share your best bridal advice with other brides-to-be. Savvy brides love to pay it forward.
Plan Something New:
There’s a quote by Rita Mae Brown that says, “Happiness is pretty simple: someone to love, something to do, and something to look forward to.” Although you’re likely not about to plan another wedding or an event that costs nearly as much, think about putting your energy into adding something else to your calendar. Maybe that looks like delaying your honeymoon until a few months after your wedding so you have that to plan and look forward to post-vows, or maybe it looks like incorporating weekly date nights into your routine. Keeping something on your calendar – even something that feels ordinary – will allow you to continue to look forward to more fun.
Give It Time:
After we experience something that is life-changing and filled with fun, it’s only natural to feel upset when it comes to an end. The great thing about this feeling is it proves that you truly had a wonderful time! Lean into that. As each day passes, your sadness will likely fade as you get back into the rhythms and routines of normal life.
Until you only feel grateful for what you and your partner experienced together, think about reaching out to friends and family to reminisce. Often, many other people who were involved in your wedding will also be feeling a sense of letdown. That also can extend to any wedding professionals who worked with you! A sense of community and comradery can help to battle off depression or even just mild sadness post-wedding.
Spend Time with Family & Friends:
Between planning, enjoying the events leading up to your wedding day, and celebrating on your actual wedding date, you have likely spent more time with friends and family than you can remember experiencing in recent times. That’s wonderful! But, after your wedding, you might feel like there is suddenly not as much of a reason to gather together. However, gathering for the sake of gathering is a reason.
Plan a trip, get together in a backyard for a barbecue, spend the night at the movies…the ideas only continue! You may even find that enjoying each other’s company while wearing sweatshirts and leggings is even more fun than dancing in the middle of a floor in your most formal attire. The key thing is, wedding or normal day, your people are still your people.
Of course, if you are truly feeling symptoms of depression or deep sadness post-wedding, we encourage you to seek the help of mental health professionals. There is no shame in asking for help. We’re here cheering you on and wishing the best for you!
Are you currently feeling blue after your wedding? What have you found helps you most? Join our community to discuss the post-wedding blues!