Throughout wedding planning, I, along with many other brides I’m sure, have seen and read way too many lists of wedding do’s and don’ts. While most offer some great advice, such as stick to your budget, be comfortable with the vendors you hire, be sure to enjoy your day, remember it’s more about the marriage than the actual wedding day, etc., I still find myself cringing at some of the advice these “experts” give. And, while these “experts” may have a lot of experience when it comes to weddings, they shouldn’t dictate how you plan one of the most important days of your life.
Here is a list of things you should not listen to when it comes to what you should and should not do at your wedding:
Do not hire friends/family members as vendors.
If you have a friend or family member who is a great photographer or DJ or baker, etc. why not hire them. You know they’ll put in extra effort to make your day special because you’re special to them. The key advice here is to just be sure you trust them.
Be sure to hire a wedding planner.
If you don’t want to hire a wedding planner, don’t do it. We’re hiring one because we don’t want to have to worry about anything on that day. And guess what else, she’s a friend who helps plan weddings!
Spend most of your money on a photographer, on food, on the venue, etc.
Most of the time this advice comes from a partial point of view. Photographers say you should spend a majority of your money on photographers, catering companies say you should spend a majority of your money on the food, etc. Create your priorities based on you and your fiancé – not on someone else’s input that doesn’t know your relationship.
Do not have a cash bar.
We’re not having a cash bar, but I truthfully see nothing wrong with having one. Alcohol is expensive and if it’s not in your budget to pay for it, then having a cash bar is a great option. I understand people like to have a drink with their dinner, but if they’re not going to come to your wedding because you’re making them pay for their alcohol, do you really want them at your wedding?
Do not DIY with flowers, décor, etc.
This advice probably gets on my nerves the most. DIY is a great way to save money (be sure to know the cost before starting the project!) and also to add a personal touch to your day. If you want to do your own flowers, do your own flowers; if you want to create your own signage, create your own signage; if you want to pay someone to do all the decorations and it’s in your budget, then do that.
While I’m beyond happy with all of the vendors I chose and didn’t necessarily do all of these things listed above, I feel like it’s not right for the wedding industry and wedding “experts” to tell you what to do and not to do. If they just referred to them as guidelines or advice, then great I’m all for it, but not absolute “do’s and don’ts”. You do what you want to do and don’t do what you don’t want to do, and that includes listening to my advice up above (but I describe mine as advice, not do’s and don’ts!).
The most important thing is making the day about you and your fiancé starting your life together as one. Enjoy the process of planning your day, but stop stressing over what others are going to think about your day. What matters in the end is that you are marrying your best friend, not what your centerpieces looked like, or how much/how little the alcohol cost. Just do you!
What advice do you have to give other brides that don't necessarily follow the typical “do's and don'ts” of wedding planning?